Grace & Pizza

Shepard

2011-12-23T12:22:00.001-06:00

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

~Psalm 23

Comedic Names for Diaper Changing Maladies

2011-10-01T16:48:00.001-05:00

The Stinky Surprise - when you go to check if our kid is poopy and the poop has filled up right to the waistband of the diaper and you get poop on your finger.

The Soggy Arm - when you pick up your kid and the soil has exceeded the capacity of the diaper, thereby soaking the backside of your kid and your arm in the process. Especially disconcerting if you are wearing a white dress shirt headed out the door for work.

The Assist - when you are changing your kids diaper and he reaches down, puts his hand in the doo-doo and wipes it somewhere on your person.

The Unassisted Triple Play - when you are changing your kids dirty D and he reaches down, retrieves some messy and proceeds to smear it on a) himself b) you and c) pick a valuable/stainable object nearby.

The Hansel & Gretel - when you are changing a diaper on the floor, get distracted and return to find a trail of messy leading away from the former ad hoc changing station.

The Delayed Give - when you get some #2 under your fingernail when changing a stinky and discover 1-3 hours later. Multiplied if you happen to be eating Oreos when you discover the offense.

The Big Boy - when your 2-year old messes a pair of underwear. Aka the New York Bagel for the schmear down the leg from removing the undies. (I'd trade 10 dirty diapers for one dirty undies.)

Sex and Sabermetrics

2011-06-16T21:44:00.024-05:00

Disclaimer: This blog may be inappropriate for younger readers or for those who do not like baseball.

Veronica and I are table leaders at our church's pre-marital ministry called Merge. The other night was the "Sexual Intimacy" talk, so we naturally split up into guys and girls. Even in our mid/late 20s, guys still can't hear certain words without giggling, so it's best our girlfriends/fiances/wives don't see us do it. The topic always comes up in Christian pre-marital conversations about the frequency of marital "intimacy". I remember before my college friends and I got married, we made grand proclamations about the frequency of our marital intimacy (you know who you are, Ryan "twice a day every day" Kuntz). Ryan is now married 6 years with 3 kids, so it goes w/o saying that "twice a day every day" is not a reality, short of PEDs. So what is reality? What I tell my pre-married peeps is that regardless of circumstance (just married, young kids, empty nesters), you've got to pursue your spouse. Ephesians 5:23 "husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". This may not always culminate in boinkin', but you've got to keep on letting your spouse know you love them via the Joy of Sex[ual Intamacy].

A big part of the class is setting proper expectations for marriage, so I tried to share with the guys a little insight into marriage, and it slowly morphed into a baseball metaphor. I'm not a big baseball fan, save for when the hometown Rangers are in the Fall Classic, but there is something about baseball that lends itself quite nicely to the analogy of doin' it.

The Basics
Single - a closed-mouth kiss, holding hands, a playful slap on the butt, an unexpected slightly open mouth kiss when heading out the door for work that says "when I get home, I want to hit a home run". Singles are a small ball, necessary for run production, but hard to build a championship-caliber team/marriage on singles alone.

Double - makin' out, "petting", rolling around on the couch, deciding if this is really going to go further, and if so, do we need to go back to the bedroom or just commence exercises right here. Doubles are a tricky little creature. Too many of them w/o additional extra bases and you'll leave runners stranded, which is not good.

Triple - No need to get into specifics. If not covered by Single or Double or actual sex (home run), it gets relegated here. Triples are rare, both in baseball and in marriage, unless the triple is the intent to begin with *wink*.

Home Run - No explanation needed, suffice to say, you cannot hit too many home runs and, unlike baseball, PEDs welcome.

Batting Average - Consider each day of the year as an at-bat. Just as there are objective benchmarks in baseball (.300, 50 HRs, 20 wins, etc.), I submit to you the following objective measurement of intimacy effectiveness (IE). You have 365 days to start with. Subtract from that:

Bean Ball - Days you are sick
Walk - Days you are traveling for work
Rain out - Days in which you lead a Merge class and don't get home until 9:30, at which point you have to put the kids down and are too tired to do anything but watch a Top Chef episode

Now you've got your net eligible At-Bats. Let's say for illustration, you have 300 net ABs for the year. If you can get on base 30% or those times, or bat .300, major league teams will line up to pay you millions of dollars to play for them. In marriage, this will not cut the mustard. What we tell our pre-married couples is that the key to success in a marriage is the constant pursuit of intimacy. This means you essentially batting 1.000 (>= single every day), unattainable in baseball, the ideal in marriage. Even on your tiredest, most miserable, kids-were-throwing-up-and-you-didn't-sleep day, you've got to muster up the courage to eke out a single or two, maybe you'll get lucky, hit one in the gap and end up with an in-the-park home run (aka unexpected sex, one of my greatest joys). Again, this is rare in baseball, as in marriage, but appreciated nonetheless.

OBP - On Base Percentage. Percentage of eligible at-bats in which a batter safely reaches base. In marriage, your OBP better be darn near 1.000 or someone is in violation of 1 Cor 7:5.

RISP - In baseball, getting a hit with Runners in Scoring Position (2nd or 3rd base). Maritally speaking, can you close the deal when the table is tilted in your favor to begin with (kids are at the parents house, had a glass of wine, etc.)?

Aside: There really is no metaphor for pitching when it comes to sex, as the entire goal of pitching is to prevent runs from being scored which is in direct opposition the goal of sexual intimacy in marriage.

Advanced Metrics
EWA/VORP/WAR - Estimated Wins Added/Value Over Replacement Player/Wins Above Replacement - These three statistics are closely related. They attempt to ascertain the value of a player relative to other players, taking into account statistical variances from year to year. In the case of WAR, if a team plays 162 games per year, a very good player will, by himself, add 5+ wins to a team. In marriage, you must ascribe a WAR of 162 to your spouse. Without him, you would win 0 games. With her, you are undefeated. Spending too much time considering VORP/WAR (comparing your spouse to other potential spouses) will affect your performance and possibly get you sent down to Triple A ball (marriage counseling).

In conclusion, be content with your spouse, but always pursuing. Make your marriage the best ever. There are no contracts or trades in marriage. "Till death do us part" means death, not free agency. Play ball!

I Are a Big Boy

2011-06-16T21:24:00.005-05:00

I heard a guy say one time that he is both the greatest source of joy and the greatest source of pain to his wife. I have found that to be true in my own marriage, but also with my kids. I can and will likely be the biggest source of blessing and pain in their lives, at least for the first dozen or so years. For better or for worse, this is a reciprocal relationship, and there is a loose correlation between how much of a blessing I am to them and how much of a blessing they are to me. With that in mind, here's a list of the things my boys do that bless me (I love lists):

Brooks asks me if I am going to work every morning, and then says he'll miss me at work
Elliott points in such a way that it appears he is waiting for someone to kiss his wrist, then smiles this gigantic buck-tooth smile, then makes the g- sound over and over.
Remember the old Eddie Murphy standup where he says when he started doing standup, it was all poop jokes b/c that was all he had ever done at that point. So Brooks started calling names the other day, and he would say to V, "YOU ARE A TOOT!", very matter-of-factly. We promptly corrected this behavior, so now he says (with equal volume and tone) "YOU ARE A NICE GUY!"
Brooks will say something and then append "no" to the end., e.g. "I want to go to the store no", when he doesn't want to go to the store.
Elliott likes otter pops and can do the sign language for "more" about 1/10th of the time correctly (ah, the power of sugar to train children)
Brooks likes to feel my stubble and tell me I am a man (this kid is the next Tony Robbins, seriously), then I tell him he will grow up and have a beard some day, to which he replies, "I are a big boy" and "I grow up no"
As I type this, Elliott is throwing his stuffed animal out of his crib and Brooks is retrieving it for him. This has been going on for about an hour.

I love those guys, and from what I can tell, this keeps getting better. Happy early Father's Day to me!

Hey Man, My Uncle's Half Lebanese! (But Hey)

2011-02-19T20:01:00.003-06:00

Bonus points if you know what movie that quote is from.

We went and walked around Legacy Town Center (sorry, Centre) tonight with the boys, or as it's more commonly known "NOT Uptown", but hey. [Grammatical note: Blogspot's spell check flags 'Centre'. It also flags 'blogspot'.] I will say this, there are several restaurants popular in the Uptown area represented up here (or rather "up there" - it's like 15 min north of us and we are way up here. There is Taco Diner, Cru, Sambuco 360, Fireside Pies, Seasons 52, Fox Sports Grill, Jasper's, some martini bar and some other $$ to $$$ restaurants that I should probably have at least heard of/eaten at, but hey, I have kids and I don't get out much.

V had read about this place called Mama Pita, so we decided to check it out. I hesitate to even try to describe it, not because it was so indescribably good, but because descriptions of food always seem like an unfiltered string of superlatives, as if someone was vying for the record for use of 'amazings' (currently held by every single Bachelor episode). Regardless, the man behind the counter was responsible for at least 40% of this blog writing. He was immensely helpful, explaining the different types of dishes as well as informing us that yes, this was a chain, sort of. There are 15 other Mama Pita's, but they are all in Lebanon. Lebanese cuisine, if you care to know, is typical of Mediterranean diet, containing copious amounts of garlic at almost every meal. Animal fats are used sparingly; fish is used frequently and most items are sauteed or grilled, per CBS' bnet business website (not sure how that information got categorized to that domain, but hey)

The experience at Mama Pita Plano is more of a fast food experience than the restaurants in Lebanon, so says the owner. It was nonetheless very enjoyable, as we both got the platter (protein of your choice, two dipping sauces, two salads and up to three sides) with Kafta, which is like a hot dog made out of lamb with spices. Other proteins were chicken, steak and shrimp (also a veggie option). Dipping sauces included tzatziki, beet hummus, garlic aioli, regular hummus. Salads were orzo salad (one of my highlights, but V did not care for the presence of some spice in it - allspice or cinnamon, I think), feta cheese, and Mediterranean salad. Sides were tomatoes, pickles (homemade), rice, beans and fried potatoes (yes, like for breakfast, but they were awesome, super crispy). I hope the last 134 words didn't leave you weary. Please go check it out. The food was delicious, the service was exceptional and the prices affordable. If you do go up there, though, please drive safe. I hear they still have snow.

But hey...

Can a Crunch Bar get some love? No.

2010-10-19T13:16:00.002-05:00

I do fancy myself a bit of an armchair psychiatrist, so, from time to time, if someone brings candy into the office, I will speculate (to myself, and maybe Veronica) in what order the candy will be eaten and why. As an aside, the very act of bringing candy into the office is interesting study on motive, to say the least. The most obvious reason someone would bring candy into the office is to promote oneself and/or one’s agenda. And this works both up and down the corporate ladder. Want your boss to think favorably about you during annual review time? Bring in some candy! Want your employees/subordinates to work harder/better/longer? Bring in some candy! Want your peers to like you? Bring in some candy.

With that said, I recently brought in a bag of assorted candy bars (for all of the reasons listed above), and I ranked them in my head according to my own preference, as well as my own hypothesized aggregate preferences for the entire office (i.e. which candy bars would get eaten first/last?), along with my reasoning. [Side Note: I can’t recall if I blogged this before, but in a standard Starburst package, I have found (based on multiple observations) the most popular flavors to be 1. Red 2. Pink 3. Yellow 4. Orange] So, the candy bars in this bag are (in alphabetical order, Almond Joy, Crunch, Kit Kat, Milky Way, M&M, Peanut M&M, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup (big one), Snickers, Twix. The following is the order in which I think the candy bars will be eaten.

Snickers – I think in general, Snickers is everyone’s #2 or #3 choice, which is enough to get it to #1 overall. It’s like the Ford Taurus of candy bars. Yes, it is one of the best selling cars every year, but I don’t know many people who own one. And rarely do I go buy a Snickers bar in the store. More armchair psych; for me (as with most late 20’s people who are beginning to have their metabolism slow down, gain weight, etc), buying a candy bar is big deal. Not like when I was a kid and I was mowing down multiple candy bars a day. If I actually buy a candy bar in the store, I want that to be special. I’m not flippantly ingesting 300-400 calories with a Snickers! If I am going to pack on those lbs, I want to do it with something exotic ($4 78% cocoa chocolate bar) or superfluously fattening (King Size Butterfinger, Mega Reese’s Cup). Just like no one wants to drive a Taurus, but some people do. People with no imagination.
Twix – This may be skewed, since there appears to be less Twix overall in the bag, but Twix are kind of like avocado. I don’t know many kids that like them, but grown-ups sure seem to.
Peanut M&M’s – There is something about a Peanut M&M that makes is seem more fulfilling than a regular M&M. Oh yeah, the peanut in the middle. That, and the fact that you can kind of ration them out over the period of a few minutes without being that weird guy with a half-eaten candy bar sitting on his desk.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup – Now, it is an important distinction to make that these are the full size cups, not the mini cups. Mini cups are #1 on any list. I think this is because people don’t want to commit to the full cup. Everyone knows those things are loaded with fat, but taking that in one mini cup at a time somehow bypasses that weight gain defense in the brain. I would wager $17 that if a study was done, more overall calories would be consumed if Mini Reese’s cups were offered than if the regular size cups were offered. It’s one of those things…
Regular M&Ms – Regular M&Ms are the Toyota camry of the candy world. Everyone agrees they are really good, and a lot people actually buy them. Same principle that applies to the Peanut M&Ms (ability to eat them slowly) applies here.
Milky Way – The lesser-known little brother of the Snickers, Milky Way lacks the distinguishing feature of a Snickers (e.g. Peanuts) and has only some generic nougat and bland caramel. I think the Peanut M&M/Regular M&M thing applies here, hence the low rating for the M.W. Peanuts give a candy bar the illusion of nutrition (not necessarily health, but nutrition). You know you’re not just eating corn syrup and butter fat if it’s got peanuts in it.
Kit Kat – By far no one’s favorite candy bar, but enough of a following that this could have easily garnered the #6 spot on this list. Kit Kat’s, in my opinion, are generally employed by the candy consuming public as a tool with which to break the chocolate/caramel/nougat/peanut/peanut butter monotony that is represented by #1-6 on this list. I do not like Kit Kat’s, but I am a firm believer that variety is the spice of life, so I enjoy a Kit Kat every now and again, if for the only reason that it is not one of the aforementioned treats. I view Kit Kats as a less successful Twix. They tried to integrate some type of carb/wheat/crisp feature into their candy bar. It was probably designed by a government committee. No surprise on the result, then.
Almond Joy – Niche candy.
Crunch Bar – Consistently the last remaining candy bar in the candy jar, and it’s not even close. If there were 50 of each of the candy bars listed here, all of them would be gone and there would be 30 Crunch bars left. I am at a loss to explain this phenomena, except that I just don’t like them, and I don’t think many other people do either. Bland chocolate, flavorless crisps of rice. I don’t even know what a crisp of rice is! I know what Rice Crispies © are, but how do they transform something that would be used in a sushi roll to a cereal/candy bar filler?? Someone explain this to me, and also explain to me why anyone thought it would be a good idea to put it in a chocolate bar. Maybe they were going for the illusion of nutrition (a la the Kit Kat), but if so, they have failed. Now you are all alone in the bottom of the candy jar…

Part II - I Heart Technology

2010-06-29T21:42:00.003-05:00

If you're just joining us, I was about to detail how daddy relaxes after a day of work and daddy-ing. V and I have been wanting our evening time to be more "quality" (read: not watching Cupcake Wars, et al). So, we disconnected our cable. It's only been day, but I don't miss it. I could get rid of my t.v. (someone please save this blog and shove it in my face the next time I get obsessed with some show). Needless to say, there are outlets aplenty for mental transfixion that do not include t.v. (iphone, web, etc) Aside: great read here about the changing nature of the web (e.g. free and open to controlled).

While running the risk of being "that couple" that sits next to each other on out iPhones not talking, we have downloaded some apps that have helped us leverage technology in the relational sector to realize some overall gains in the client experience department. Wait, what? Sorry, Businessman Mike just wrested control of the keyboard from Blogger Mike. I apologize. That will not happen again. On to the app-age. Three of our favorite brick-and-mortar games to play are Scrabble, Boggle and Cribbage.

Scrabble - If you haven't heard of and/or played Words with Friends, it's a great Scrabble-like app. Nothing more to say, this is a solid apps that lets you play multiple games at the same time, even with the same person (currently doing with V). [FREE - b/c I know you were thinking it. Note: I used to think I would never pay for an app, but I am coming around. Maybe I am a victim of the machine that is Apple and their infuriating (albeit genuis) pricing schemes, but if something is useful and/or provides hours upon hours of fun AND quality time (love language) with the wifey, I am sold, so there.]

Boggle - Now I love Boggle, but have you ever tried shaking that little plastic thing with the letter dice in a quiet house with kids sleeping? It might be just slightly quieter than a sonic boom. Maybe. To mitigate this waking risk, we downloaded the Scramble2 [FREE]. Not quite as good as Boggle. You play a board, then "send" the game to another player, who then tries to beat your score. meh. Decent, but not our fav.

Cribbage Premium - This is a great app. No unwanted animations, no frills, just quick dealing and scoring. We can blow through a game in about 15 min. No shuffling necessary, thank you very much. Connects via bluetooth, so no waiting for 3G or needing a wireless network to connect to.

So, we are exploring life sans cable, trying to make the most of our time together where we're not taking care of kids, enjoying 21st century technology and making deposits in each others love banks all at the same time. Brilliant.

Part I - Coming up for Air

2010-06-29T21:12:00.006-05:00

Two months in, a lifetime to go of being a father of two boys. I have a friend who is the editor of a small newsletter (circulation ~6) that he and his buddies from college wrote. He's the only one that's married and they do not have kids yet, so I have been thinking about writing an entry to the Sasquatch going through a typical day in my life with two kids.

I get up at 6 or 6:30 to try and have some quiet time with the Lord before the kids get up. Sometimes I can get in the shower before Brooks (older child, 20 months) gets up, but occasionally, he starts making noise as early as 6:30, so I'll get him up. If it's Saturday, or I am going in to work late, we'll watch some Sportscenter together while daddy wakes up for as long as he'll sit still. Depending on how awake V is as this point, I'll get Brooks going with breakfast. I can shower and get ready while he eats, but I feel bad for him. He used to be the center of our universe, now he has to sit there and eat breakfast alone while V nurses Elliott (younger son, 2 months). Poor guy.

Aside: Over Memorial Day weekend, my wakeup times were 6:30, 6:30 and 7. My friend Britton, who's wife is due with their first kid July 5th: 10:30, 9:45, 9:30. Thought that was noteworthy. So I noted it. Here.

Then it's off to work, my fatherly duties on pause for 8-10 hours. Coming home is really a treat now. Brooks is usually standing at the back door, and he gets so excited when I come home. This moment alone makes it all worth it. Every scream, every poopy diaper, every plate of food dumped on the floor, every handful of pebbles grabbed from the fireplace, every throw up in the car, every 3 am wake-up, all of it.

Let's talk about plane flights. We went to Florida for V's 10-year re-union (a blog for another day). On the way there, we were lucky enough to get an empty seat between us. Jackpot! For a parent, this is better than first class. Not so lucky on the way home. In fact, we had to sit on opposite sides of the aisle (something about the number of oxygen masks. It was getting pretty tedious trying to keep Brooks from touching the sleeping lady next to me. Thankfully, Brooks made friends with some high school girls sitting behind us... then fell asleep. Playa.

Seriously, I would have let bin Laden hold him at that point. What? He was right there. I could see him the whole time. Anyway, up until that point, we had been stuffing jelly beans in this kid's mouth to keep him quiet. This may or may not have led to the aforementioned throwing up on the drive home from the airport. We thanked God that he did not throw up on the plane.

Regroup. After work, we hang out and have dinner. About 30% of the time, we have a tough time getting Brooks to eat anything, but we're learning to trust him when he says he doesn't want to eat, etc. etc. [Insert 25-page parenting discussion HERE]. After dinner, we "play" (me chasing Brooks around trying to keep him from running into things), drive somewhere to kill time, go for a walk or play out back. Bath time around 7:30, read a short selection of kids Proverbs or Shel Silverstein, then pray, then bed, then daddy relaxes (see Pt II).

I mean it when I say it is worth it. Being a father is incredibly rewarding, but to be honest, it has taken the better part of a year and a half for that sense of endearment to evolve and part of the joy is found in the hopes of what my kids will become, not just who they are now.

Adventures in Minnes-OH-ta

2010-01-19T20:34:00.003-06:00

Last weekend, Veronica and I and Brooks went up to Rochester, MN for my cousins wedding. As was the case at our wedding (in Florida in January), it was a much of an excuse for the extended family to get together as it was to celebrate the joyous union of Rachel Schumann and Christopher Brenna. Most of my cousins, I haven't seen in 5+ years, so it was great. One of the great things about family is the lack of pretense. We are all comfortable around each other, despite not having seen each other for so long. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed spending time with all of my cousins. It's not as if we have been feuding for years and are now reconciled; it's just that there hasn't been relationship for so long, and, if only for a weekend, we got to enjoy each others company.

The one cloud over the weekend came on Saturday night, when Brooks, myself, and at least half of the 40 other hotel guests bearing my particular genetic blueprint (Netzer's) spent the night bent over or on the toilet. It was a mess, literally. I do pity the hotel cleaning staff, though I reverse my pity if said illness was as a result of lack of prior cleaning (not accusing, just saying). Thankfully, the plane ride home was incident-free, and we are back in Dallas, no worse for the wear. There truly is no place like home, with annoying dogs who want to be let out at 4 am and track mud all over the house. I wouldn't trade it for all the throw-up covered hotel bathrooms with "sleep number" beds that deflate half-way through the night in the world.

Review: Obstacles Welcome

2010-01-06T21:13:00.004-06:00

BLOT: If you follow the advice outlined in this book, you will likely be more successful than you would be otherwise. Beyond that , it is not a very interesting book.

In order to write a book like this, you've got to have 3 things:

1. Credibility - check. De la Vega immigrated from Cuba at age 10 and lived with his aunt and uncle for four years until his parents made it to America. Over the next few decades, de la Vega worked hard and eventually became the CEO of AT&T Mobility. At the time of this review, de la Vega is being targeted as a candidate for the CEO of GM, so he's doing something right.

2. Something to Say - check. De la Vega's principles are solid. Even in the super-saturated market of business self-help books, his concise principles for success with recap at the end of each chapter are easily learned and applied. Although generic at times, the points he makes are drawn from his life-experience and the proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

3. A Compelling Way to Say It - nope. As a young professional, I know about 1 & 2 above. I want a compelling read that is doing to spark the already burning desire in me to make it to next level. I want to be regaled with tales of the posh C-suite lifestyle. I want to envy his success. I want to put down the book and go fill out applications to B-school. De la Vega just doesn't do it for me. A typical chapter in this book would be to introduce a principle and then spend about two paragraphs recounting how he applied this principle in some situation. There didn't appear to be a cohesiveness to the individual chapter stories that would paint a complete and intriguing picture of de la Vega the man, the cut-throat decision-making boss in charge of billions of dollars of revenue. Maybe that man doesn't exist.

Upcoming

2010-01-06T21:05:00.002-06:00

I saw on my Blogspot home page that it has been 2 months since I last blogged. I would like to write more, but it hasn't happened lately. So, I signed up to review books for Thomas Nelson publishing. Anyone can do it. Pre-reqs are that you have a blog to post your review of the book and that you also post your review to an online bookseller (Amazon, B&N, etc). I didn't want my next blog post to seem too out-of-the-blue, so the next one is a review of a business/life/advice book called Obstacles Welcome. Enjoy!

Tech., Etc.

2009-11-03T14:22:00.001-06:00

My new work has Office 2007, and one of the new features in Word is a blog post where you can draft the blog in Word and publish straight to the web. This has taken me < 5 minutes. Very easy process.

Folding Laundry: Two Memories

2009-09-28T22:22:00.003-05:00

So apparently our dryer has a feature called Wrinkle Care, which means the dryer keeps fluffing the clothes until you pull them out. This gentle reminder from the dryer finally prompted me to get up and fold the clothes. As I was folding them, I recalled two memories.

1. When I was in high school, I was a idiot. Rebellious, immature, insecure, you name it. I had a felt need. For Abercrombie clothing. I was obsessed. Living in little ol' Idaho, we didn't have A&F stores, so my need went unmet. One Christmas, my dad got me an Abercrombie t-shirt. I can just imagine my dad walking into an A&F (not quite then what it is now with the shirtless male models, but nonetheless...) and scoffing at the $25-a-shirt prices. Anyway, I still have that t-shirt. A plain blue t-shirt, and it reminds me how much my dad loves me, that'd he'd be willing to face the preteen mob to go into a store he didn't like and overpay for something he didn't like to fulfill a flippant desire of his son.

2. In college, I had a friend, Mike Arthur. We took a computer engineering class together. I always envied Mike. He'd come in late, take one of the last remaining seats, right up front, and proceed to fall asleep. Classic Mike. Anyway, our prof was a big guy named Ken Noren, who had a little bit of a nasally Midwestern accent. Sometimes when he was diagramming electronic circuits, he would kind of chuckle to himself about something circuits related. And being a circuits prof, you must say the word "diode" somewhere between 300-5,000 times a day, and he had that familiar (to me, having extended family in Wisconsin) way of saying the long "o", so it came out "di-owed". Anyway, on Halloween, Mike went to every class (I would know, we had prob 4 out of 5 classes together) in a track suit as Steve Prefontaine. Of course, he was late to circuits, and when he walked in, Prof. Noren actually paused and asked him who he was supposed to be dressed up as. I've got to think that singular incident was at least 60% responsible for Mike passing that class. So, tie-in. I got a hand-me-down shirt from my buddy Adam that has Pre on the front with all the records he set and it reminded me of Mike.

Ah, nostalgia. You one of my favorite words to say and feelings to feel...

Reppin' the W

2009-08-21T21:45:00.002-05:00

No, this isn't a early 90's music reference, like this. Eric Champion, btw, led worship occasionally at our old church in Orlando. When we were up in Idaho, I went on a hike with my best friend from college, and I had a Watermark hat with me, so I wore it up to Chimney Rock. It's over 7000 ft. elevation, and even though you drive almost all the way, it's a moderate hike to an awesome view. Anyway, after I had Joel take my picture, I thought it'd be cool to see where else people have worn WM gear. Enter, this post. Send me pictures of yourself wearing something WM-branded and I'll put together a blog of all the pics.

Summer Playlist

2009-07-16T22:17:00.002-05:00

I got on the topic of summer playlists with some friends the other night, and I just got an iTunes gift card for my birthday, so I went out and bought some songs, as follows:

Rich Mullins - Creed

Rich Mullins - The Color Green

Elton John - Rocket Man

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Elton John - This Train Don't Stop There Anymore

Elton John - I Want Love

Kings of Leon - Be Somebody

Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal

Shai - If I Ever Fall in Love (Original Acapella Version)

Bebo Norman - Perhaps She'll Wait

Bebo Norman - All That I Have Sown

Chris Tomlin - God of This City

Led Zeppelin - D'yer Mak'er

If you have anything better to do, don't read this...

2009-06-30T14:33:00.003-05:00

In the course of human existence, it is only natural to ponder the possibility of possessing powers beyond the normal. On the micro level, we may envy an athlete's ability to perform certain feats. This is not what I'm talking about. I mean superpowers. I have long held that the greatest superpower is teleportation. I must confess, I have been wrong. The greatest superpower is omnipotence. Done and done. However, for the sake of argument, I'll outline why I think that, when one considers all traditional superpowers, teleportation is the best. Teleportation is close to mine and Veronica's heart too, as we are both far from our families and love to travel. Not only would teleportation allow us to see our families (say, have dinner with my parents in Idaho on Tuesday and spend the next weekend in Florida) with virtually no travel time (assume teleportation is instantaneous), we would get to see any part of the world we desired.

The problem is that what makes for a practical superpower makes for boring comic book reading and vice versa, that which makes for a good comic book reading is generally horribly impractical. If a superhero had the power of teleportation, he would just teleport into wherever the heroine was being held, grab her and return to safety. Wouldn't sell a lot of comics. To examine the more common super powers:

Spiderman - agreed, it would be cool to be able to climb walls and perform various acrobatic maneuvers, but once the novelty had worn off, it'd just be messy.
Superman - flight would be awesome. Super strength would be cool, but again, once the novelty wore off... I think I could sequentially teleport an inch at a time thousands of times in a row to simulate flight. Also, seeing through buildings? There is no practical use for this that is legal/moral.
The Incredible Hulk - do I even need to go into this? Not only is it incredibly destructive, it's uncontrollable.
Force Field - let me say this, any time in my life I (or anyone else) would need a force field, short of war or nuclear holocaust, I didn't have time to establish one, like in a car wreck.
Shape shifting - circus sideshow at best.
Mimickry - okay, this one would be tons of fun, but no real benefit other than amusement.
Invisibility - this is comparable to being able to see through buildings. No morally defensible use.
Magneto - I can think of a small handful of times I would want this (drop something metal, need something metal that is out of reach). I'm not wasting my one superpower wish on this one.

So, now that I've convinced you that teleportation is the best, I'll establish the ground rules:

Anything that is touching my skin goes with me wherever I am going. If I am touching someone else, the power of teleportation is extended to their skin also. This enables me to transport large numbers of people at once.
Assume that the destination or "landing place"is safe. If I want to teleport to Australia, there is some check in place so that I don't end up in the middle of the Outback or underwater or something.

Of course, in my fantasy world, I am the only one with this power. If everyone had the power, I'd propose some type of cap and trade policy. There could be like a teleportation bank that you could buy from and sell to. This would help maintain some semblance of exclusivity. That, or maybe I am still the only one, but it is like blood. I can donate/sell my teleports, but can only do so in limited quantity, but if I use them myself, they are unlimited.

*Disclaimer #2 - In the course of my own research for this blog, I came across this, which does a far better job of evaluating superpowers.

Veronica Netzer, CEO

2009-06-19T14:20:00.006-05:00

Before Veronica and I even got married, we knew we wanted her to be able to stay home once we had kids. Through God's surpassing provision, we have been able to do that. One thing I have asked her to do is to be the CEO of our home. By this, I mean she is responsible for managing the household activities. She does the grocery shopping, plans and coordinates activities, manages the budget, etc. That said, I thought I'd have some fun with this extended metaphor.

Q209 Shareholders Report, Netzer Family Home

CEO: Veronica Netzer

Chairman of the Board: Mike Netzer

Key Shareholders: Mike Netzer, Veronica Netzer, Brooks Netzer

CC: Einstein, Edison

Summary: FY08 was marked by significant changes in our corporate structure. There was one key acquisition (Edison) and the launch of a new brand (Brooks). This was accompanied by an overhaul of one of our key roles (V), which carried an associated revenue reduction. That said, the Netzer brand remains strong and we feel we are poised to take advantage of several growth opportunities in FY09 and beyond.

Financials: As a result of previously mentioned revenue reduction and the increased cost of doing the family business, all non-essential spending has been cut. Travel has been limited to key client (immediate family) meetings. Expense reimbursement will no longer be available for personal meals. iTunes purchases are no longer made using the General Fund. All non-budgeted items must be pre-approved by a unanimous vote of the budgetary committee. A cash-only system of purchasing has reduced overages significantly.

Process: We brought in strategic consultants (Community Group) to assess the role change of the Chief Executive Officer. After a lengthy discussion regarding expectations, we've seen measurable process improvement in day-to-day operations. Due to some quality assurance measures that were implemented, errors and omissions are down 43% from the same quarter last year and customer satisfaction is up 70% over the same period.

Growth: The acquisitional strategy for FY08 was to pair a new youthful partner (Edison) with an existing senior partner (Einstein) in hopes that real synergy could be achieved in the recreation sector. Despite countless planning meetings and several verbal warnings to the newly added partner, the hoped for synergy has not been realized. Our hope is that these two distinct partners can look beyond their inherent differences and develop into a viable business unit.

We launched a new brand (Brooks) in Q408 upon whom we are pinning the future livelihood of the business. We've made significant investment in this brand, financial and otherwise. Our CEO is in charge of day-to-day talent development in this brand. We've also enlisted the help of our parent company (God). The Netzer Family Corporation lacks the senior leadership experience to fully develop this newest brand. We will partner with our parent company in this development so the end result is something all shareholders will be pleased with.

Pronouns

2009-06-19T14:20:00.004-05:00

I have noticed with increasing frequency a phenomenon in how people interact with each other. More specifically, people tend to be dropping the pronouns from their salutations. For example, instead of saying, "I'll see you later", people are will say "see you later". This is not new, but it is spreading. In Christian circles, "I'm praying for you" or "I'll be praying for you" has become "praying for you" or "be praying for you". Maybe I am being over-sensitive, but I think it de-personalizes the message. It's a defense mechanism to withhold that part of the message that says, "I care about you" for fear that your feelings won't be reciprocated. Are people weirded out by having someone else say "I will be praying for you"? Do people feel less committed to actually pray for someone by casually saying "be prayin' for ya" versus a definitive "I will be praying for you"? I think so. Prayer is a big deal, to us and God. All of our speech, however subtle, should reflect that.

Carmen's Charmin'

2009-06-14T18:38:00.003-05:00

All right, that is a cheesy header, but here's the deal. Carmen's deli and Italian eatery on the south side of Arapaho just west of Custer has got some good eats. Homemade cream cheese blends, well-crafted sandwiches and genuine Italian flavors are Carmen's signature. I visited for the first time today and got the #13 The Goodfella, on the recommendation of the guy working the counter. It is their homemade roast beef with sautéed mushrooms and a garlic mayo. I assure you the mayonnaise does not taste like mayo but like garlic, for you mayo-phobes. One of the best surprises about this sandwich was the bread. By all appearances, it looked like a sourdough loaf, you know, the kind you bite into and the contents of your sandwich jettison out the sides. Not so with this sandwich. I don't know what kind of wizardry they are practicing over there, but they have managed to concoct a hoagie-like in size, dense and toasted, but it is easy to bite through, and it doesn't cut the roof of your mouth up. All in all, one of the best sandwiches I have ever had.

Veronica had the bacon egg and cheese bagel. All components of the sandwich were done perfectly. Again, the fear is that when you bite into the bagel, all of the bacon egg and cheese go shooting out the sides. Again, not the case. A bagel that can be easily bitten through is more precious than silver and more prized than rubies.

Sadly, at 11:00 am on a Sunday, we were the only customers in this local gem of an eatery. So, get the word out and take your friends to Carmen's for some really really good food.

Happy 35th Anniversary Dad & Mom!

2009-06-09T10:12:00.001-05:00

Today is my parent's 35th wedding anniversary! Happy Anniversary Dad & Mom! Gary Thomas says in Sacred Marriage that marriage is a great excercise in constancy. I have found this to not only be true, but exceedingly difficult. Your spouse sees you every day and knows you better than anyone else. It's been said it takes a lifetime to build a reputation and only a moment to destroy it. It is not wise to operate a marriage this way, waiting for your spouse to mess up so you can stop trusting them. I've always got to extend grace (as I have been extended, both by V and God). There are two extremes I have to avoid. The first is clinging to the ideal that Veronica is perfect, which results in me being let down when she offends me. The second is to resign to the fact that she will inevitably offend me and withdraw as to prevent further emotional damage. Neither of these are a healthy approach. I know V is going to do things I don't like (and I, her), but I've got to believe that they aren't done intentionally. As each year passes that we are married, I can either choose to remember all the times she has wronged me and build a case in my mind to not trust her, or I can think of all the times she has demonstrated her love for me and use that as motivation to give her the benefit of the doubt. I ch-ch-choose the latter. (+10 pts if you get that reference)

That said, every year I am married, it gets easier and harder at the same time. It gets easier when I choose to trust V and her motives and not make a big deal out of small deals (there's a saying about that, I'm sure of it...) It gets harder because God continues to challenge me to grow more and more mature as a husband, father and friend. In marriage, there really is no substitute for hard work!

All that said, Mom & Dad, you have been a picture of constancy that Veronica and I (and I'm sure C&J and A&A) are very grateful for. Not that you're stagnant or boring, but steady, continually engaging with each other, your kids and grandkids, continually growing and presenting a picture of a healthy marriage for us. Thanks!

No Substitions

2009-06-08T16:42:00.003-05:00

I have found this to be generally true. There is a competing philosophy out there that says if you want something done, find a lazy person to do it and they will find the easiest way of getting it done. Suffice to say that hard work and ingenuity both have a role in overall productivity. Too much or too little of either and you're flirting with inefficiency.

Googling “there’s no substitute” returns some interesting results:
There’s no substitute for experience (talking about sports)
…for a cable (in a discussion about wireless vs. wired networks)
…for getting your degree (coach to student athlete)
…for a Porsche (car website)
…for a handgun (article on self-defense)
…for a colonoscopy (when it comes to cancer screening)
…for wool (Google-suggested search)
…for the correct substitution procedure [ironically enough] (soccer refereeing article)

Seems as though there are lots of things for which an acceptable substitute does not exist. For me it'd be sunshine, snug, hiking to an alpine lake, most good food, friendship built over several years and dark chocolate to name a few. I’d like to know what other people think about this…

Limits (parenting and spiritual life)

2009-06-07T15:34:00.004-05:00

So, our son Brooks, is starting to crawl a little and he's getting more and more adventurous. We've been putting off buying one of those little fences you put babies in so they can crawl around, so until we do get one, we box him in the middle of our sectional couch with the coffee table and some pillows. Occasionally, he gets over one of the pillows and heads for the front or back door. I let him indulge his illusion of freedom, albeit under a close eye. If he starts to put something in his mouth or he looks like he's going to bonk his head, I'll swoop in and grab him. As I posted (third bullet) a while back, God is teaching me some stuff about my relationship with him through being a dad, and this was one such instance. I thought, surely God has his eye on me infinitely more closely than I watch Brooks, so why is that he lets me hurt myself? Why do I stick my finger in the spiritual light socket or lick the proverbial floor? Why doesn't God swoop in at the last second and keep me safe? I think the difference between the man-baby relationship and the God-man relationship is that I know better. Brooks does not. God lets me exercise my own free will and, much to His chagrin, screw up. He then lets the Holy Spirit go to work through the mechanism of conviction (realization that what we have done has negatively affected our relationship with God) to get us to repent and refocus on him. Right now with Brooks, the degree to which I will let him "screw up" and learn from his mistakes is incredibly small, and as he gets older, I will do my best to instruct, but there will come a time when I completely relinquish authoritarian control of his life. At that time, he can choose to heed the instruction I have given him or reject it. That is where I am with God. I am his grown son, fully informed, without excuse for disobedience, yet choosing to follow Him.

Raise the Mark

2009-06-07T15:18:00.002-05:00

Our church has a function once a month in addition to the normal Sunday church services called Raise the Mark. The format is some worship music interspersed with prayer in small groups followed by communion and a time of sharing. Whenever I get it in my head to go, the devil creeps in there and tries to tell me that it'll be awkward and I'll have to pray with people I don't know and there will be some moments where I'm not sure whether to sit or stand, or I feel weird having someone tell me exactly when to sit and stand like I'm some little kid. However, when I can get over myself, kick the devil in the nuts, and go to Raise the Mark, I always leave feeling blessed. Last night was no exception. After the first couple songs, Veronica and I huddled with the people close to us and began to pray. We were huddled with Roy, Bill, Daisy and Jim, 3 people whom I had never met and 1 who I had met, but don't know well. Despite our unfamiliarity and aforementioned awkwardness, we all prayed to the same God with the same heart that He would be the Lord of our lives, that we would know him more deeply, and that he would change the world through us. There are few times in my life when I feel more connected to the community of faith then when I engage in communal prayer and worship. This experience is enhanced by doing it with people I know and who know me, but there is something encouraging and reassuring about seeing people I don't know share their struggles with me. I am prone to not give people the benefit of the doubt and I think this is one way that God prompts me to believe the best about His children who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting.

Rethinking Authentic

2009-06-02T13:29:00.006-05:00

There is a common myth that if you see a Chinese restaurant full of Chinese people, it must be "authentic" Chinese, right? Possibly, BUT consider the following: if you go to China and see a bunch of Americans eating at a McDonald's, would you, generic Chinese citizen, be right in assuming that McDonald's is "authentic" American food? Again, possibly. Authentic: Having a claimed and verifiable origin or authorship; not counterfeit or copied (according to thefreedictionary.com). So yes, McDonald's is authentically American, for better or worse. Yes, McDonald's reflects American's desire for fast, cheap food. Yes, burgers and fries are commonly identified with American cuisine. Yes, Americans commonly eat food that was prepared hundreds or thousands of miles from the actual location of consumption, frozen and reheated upon the demands of the consumer. However, authenticity in this case has little to no bearing on actual value, perceived or otherwise. Although McDonald's is "authentically" American, I'd much rather have something like this:than this:

So, what I am asking is that "authentic" as an adjective be unshackled from whether or not the food is actually something I would enjoy eating. At the very least, when a claim of authenticity is made in place of a claim of actual goodness, it should be questioned. A claim of authenticity should serve as a supplement to the overall desirability of a restaurant. That is, faced with a decision between two restaurants being otherwise equal, I may be inclined to choose the one that is more "authentic".

The Relaxing State of Florida

2009-05-07T10:44:00.006-05:00

I'm in Florida right now visiting family. It's been a very relaxing trip. The attitude in small-town, coastal Florida is so different than Dallas, Texas. No one ever seems to be in a rush. Everyone wears their bathing suits and flip flops everywhere. This coupled with my own lack of responsibilities has made for a great week.

This morning was especially sweet. I got up a 6 and took my father-in-law's kayak out on the river. At that time of day, there was no one on the water. The water was smooth and dark. I paddled through schools of bait fish and they rippled the surface of the water like a gust of wind. There were dozens of big birds; herons, gulls and pelicans standing on the shores of the grand canal picking small fish out of the water. I glided around a corner and caught a glimpse of a raccoon, presumably drinking on the shore, before he saw me and scampered away. I coasted beside a manatee before it swam slowly away. This whole time, the sun was just coming up. It was so peaceful to be part of this little community of nature awakening.

Politics

2009-04-28T20:55:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, Arlen Specter, a long time Republican Senator, decided to defect from the GOP and join the Democratic party today. This, in conjunction with the apparently imminent election/purchase of the Minnesota senate seat by Al Franken (is it just me, or do Democrats have better lawyers than Republicans?), and the Democrats will control the White House, the House or Representatives, and the Senate. The implication is that they can pass any legislation they please now, as a filibuster is useless against the constitutionally mandated 60-member majority the Democrats will now hold.

What does this mean for you and I, John and Jane Evangelist? The eternal optimist in me finds comfort in Genesis 50:20. This is at the end of an incredibly long and incredibly incredible (yep, I went there) tale, where Joseph's brothers have sold him into slavery, after which he becomes a servant to the king, is imprisoned on the accusation of the queen, re-attains a position which can be described as 2nd in command of all of Egypt and, in a word, saves the entire nation through his forethought to store provisions for a coming famine. After reuniting with his brothers, they fall at his feet and proclaim, "We are your slaves..." Joseph, in what I can only imagine is a type of "all's well that ends well" mentality, says, "Am I not in the place of God? You intended it to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done." Granted, he made his bros. sweat it out for a while, but ultimately, he welcomed them as brothers.

Smart conservative evangelicals have long since stopped relying on the government to be the torchbearers of our conservative political and moral values. My hope in the face of this imposing legislating machine is that more conservatives (evangelical and otherwise) will stop looking to the government to solve the problems of this country. Faith-based organizations (FBOs) thrived under Bush's presidency. We don't need to stinkin' government sponsorship! Let's change the world, government be damned! Yeah you! You can't rest on your laurels, content to have voted red in the last election, confident that the powers that be will affect real change. In the words of Dan Wieden, Nike ad agency co-founder, circa 1988, "Just do it".

Supermodels and Social Issues

2009-04-27T15:15:00.003-05:00

I am becoming less and less likely to go to Foxnews.com for my news as of late. They do, seemingly more than other news sites, although all are guilty, to tease headlines to elicit the impulsive click from their viewers. See these headlines from their home page today:
Ex-NBA Star Williams Tasered, Hospitalized
Lingerie football league set to kick off
Members of Congress Arrested in D.C. over Protest

In short, Foxnews.com seems to have the greatest disparity between the headline and the actual content of the story. This tendency is further accelerated when it comes to the entertainment news, which is garnering a larger and larger portion of the their home page. Numerous articles have been written on that very phenomenon, but I will not do that here. Despite Foxnews.com's shortcomings, it is, at it's ideological heart, still a conservative news outlet, and will, from time to time, publish material I enjoy reading. I was especially pleased to come across this article on Kathy Ireland, former supermodel, and current pro-life advocate. You can view it here, or if you don't want to have to deal with an infinite amount of sidebar distractions, I've posted the entire article below.

It’s no secret that the majority of Hollywood stars are strong advocates for a woman’s right to choose whether or not she wants to terminate a pregnancy, however former "Sports Illustrated" supermodel-turned-entrepreneur-turned-author Kathy Ireland has gone against the grain of the glitterati and spoken out against abortion.

"My entire life I was pro-choice — who was I to tell another woman what she could or couldn’t do with her body? But when I was 18, I became a Christian and I dove into the medical books, I dove into science," Ireland told Tarts while promoting her insightful new book "Real Solutions for Busy Mom: Your Guide to Success and Sanity."

"What I read was astounding and I learned that at the moment of conception a new life comes into being. The complete genetic blueprint is there, the DNA is determined, the blood type is determined, the sex is determined, the unique set of fingerprints that nobody has had or ever will have is already there."

However Ireland admitted that she did everything she could to avoid becoming a believer in pro-life.

"I called Planned Parenthood and begged them to give me their best argument and all they could come up with that it is really just a clump of cells and if you get it early enough it doesn’t even look like a baby. Well, we’re all clumps of cells and the unborn does not look like a baby the same way the baby does not look like a teenager, a teenager does not look like a senior citizen. That unborn baby looks exactly the way human beings are supposed to look at that stage of development. It doesn’t suddenly become a human being at a certain point in time," Ireland argued. "I’ve also asked leading scientists across our country to please show me some shred of evidence that the unborn is not a human being. I didn’t want to be pro-life, but this is not a woman’s rights issue but a human rights issue."

Ireland also asserted that she believes "no justification is adequate" (for an abortion) unless another the mother's life is in danger.

"In that instant, your intention is not to kill but to save the life of another. If we’re about to demolish a building we make absolute certain there are no human beings in there before we take a wrecking ball to it, but the unborn doesn’t have a voice so it's up to us to speak for them," she added passionately. "If I see someone abusing a child I am going to stand up against that, and that’s how I feel about abortion. Women are not given all the facts, they’re told it is a harmless procedure and now it has turned into such a political football."

The committed Christian and devoted mother even dedicated the chapter "Faith & Your Family" in her new book to her foundations in Christianity and believes that this is what’s missing from so many American families today.

"You have to figure out your own values and why you have them. People are going to try and push and pull at your convictions, so you have to have boundaries and put them in place," she said.

But on the opposite end of the spectrum, "Judging Amy" star Amy Brenneman has been busy voicing her views as a strong advocate of pro-choice over recent years.

"(My involvement) is really through this feminist majority that I work with and it is a very important issue that’s close to my heart," Brenneman told Tarts at last week’s Autism Speaks event in Hollywood. "Unless a woman really has sovereignty over her own body we really haven’t come that far."

Economic Downturn

2009-04-08T17:00:00.002-05:00

"Economic Downturn" is quickly becoming overused, entrenching itself in the annals of political/economic gobbledygook. However, we are in said downturn, and it is affecting more and more people every day. I recently talked to a friend of mine who lost his job about 6 months ago. He and his family are just now reaching the point where they have exhausted much of their savings and are not sure where the money for the mortgage is going to come from next month. This friend of mine represents a growing chorus of those affected by the current economic climate. Despite these adverse circumstances, my friend has maintained what can only be described as a healthy perspective on God and is provision. The verse he has found comfort in is Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I read this in conjunction with Philippians 2:12b-13 "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." as well as Deuteronomy 8:18 "remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth." With all of this in mind, I am wondering what it means to "trust God with all your heart" on both sides of the employment fence, if it is more than just saying "I trust God." Certainly, it is important to vocalize your trust, but what is that the out flowing of, for "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Mt 12:34)? How do I, someone who is gainfully employed at the time of this posting, develop a heart from which words will overflow that will bless those who hear them (Eph 4:29) and reflect a deep trust in the Lord, fearing only Him, not what the world will throw at me tomorrow? Here is what is certain to be an incomplete list:

1. In the words of a very wise guy, "He [Jesus] must become greater. I must become less." If I meditate on who God really is (omniscient, omnipotent, eternal, infinite, loving), I worry less about worldly things.
2. Simplify. The less I have, the less I will miss if I lose it.
3. Stewardship. I think the principle "he who is trustworthy with little will be trustworthy with much (Luke 16:10)" also works in reverse. If you are trustworthy with a lot, you'll be trustworthy with a little.
4. Humility. My own tendency is to take credit, or at least receive credit, for my accomplishments. In light of Deut 8:18, there is no place for this.
5. Community. Veronica and I are very blessed to be part of a church that has committed to meeting the basic needs of it's members, should they need it, as well as a smaller community group, none of whom would hesitate to extend any resource needed, were we to be in need. This is something I'm sure we take for granted, and hope we never need, but are incredibly thankful for.

Three Things (bulleted)

2009-02-02T19:53:00.003-06:00

Veronica and I discovered a new game tonight. We were looking over our receipt from grocery shopping and trying to figure out what the abbreviation meant. Some are eaiser than others, naturally. For example, SHP CHED is sharp cheddar, and GV MUSH SOUP is Great Value (yes, we were shopping at Wal-Mart) Mushroom Soup. It gets harder. NLCRANPOM is Northland brand Cranberry Pomegranate juice. PB RF CRESC is Pillsbury RF(?) Crescent Rolls. JLPN PRTZL stumped me momentarily, but I soon realized it was Snyder's Jalepeno Pretzel Nuggets, which are delicious, if you haven't tried them. The most difficult, however, was 1LB BBY CRT. I'll post the answer in a subsequent blog.
I think someone broke into my car over the weekend. I guess I should consider myself lucky. Our neighbors across the alley had their windshield broken a couple weeks ago. I hadn't driven my car since Friday and I got in it today and the glove box was open and everything that was in the glove box was in the passenger's seat. I started to check if anything was missing, then I thought..."what in the heck would anyone steal from my car?" In order of valuability (sp?), I would rank the top (only) seven contents in my car as:
1. Garage Door Opener (access to more valuable stuff)
2. Tolltag
3. Ipod Charger
4. Jumper Cables
5. Change
6. Pen
7. Unused napkin (seriously, I am grasping here)
The worst part about this is I think they tried to disable my alarm (that's right, I have an alarm, what of it?) or something and the battery is dead. Boof.
I was doing some dishes today and Brooks was in his seat just watching me, kind of talking. I had a moment, one I'm sure every father has from time to time. I looked at Brooks and I was thinking how great it would be when he would walk up to me and say, "Daddy, I love you!" I thought of how he is going to grow up and mature physically and emotionally and spiritually, and how blessed it will be when he is a fully functioning, independent human being, yet stills chooses to love me. I know human-human relationship I share with Brooks is different than the human-deity relationship I have with God, but part of the gift God bestows upon us in fatherhood is a deeper understanding of our relationship with Him. Thank you, God!

The Interview, Pt III

2009-01-30T15:38:00.001-06:00

“You can call me Mark,” he said as he rummaged through his cluttered cerebrum, found some enthusiasm, dusted it off and tried to make it presentable.

“Oh, okay…”, Mary Anne quickly put together a relaxed tone, although she was unfamiliar with the recipe. There was that accent again. It annoyed Mark that his mental train was being derailed by such an insignificant detail. Focus. Mary Anne moved on to the second course of her conversational meal, one she was intimately acquainted with, her well-prepared questions. As you might have guessed, Mary Anne was not master of the improvisational arts. Her whole life was well-ordered, planned, under control. She made sure of that. She took great pains to avoid surprises, and had been getting by quite comfortably now for some time without them. This interview may stretch her, she thought, but it would be good for her. This afternoon, she could return to the ordinary, the familiar, The Routine. Board meeting on Monday afternoon, Grocery shopping Tuesday morning (when the stores changed their sale items), Unlike Mark and Ally, Mary Anne thrived on routine. She gladly sacrificed spontaneity and impulsiveness on the altar of control. It didn’t happen overnight. Over the course of several years, Mary Anne had eliminated all surprises from her life. Even at her “surprise” birthday parties, she knew what all the gifts were before she opened them; because she made it explicitly clear to her husband what he could (and could not) get her for her birthday. Alzheimer’s was just around the corner. There was a tiny hyena-like creature Mary Ann kept caged in the furthest recesses of her mind that fed on chaos and uncertainty. She fed him occasionally with the momentary rush of a pull-tab lotto ticket or the “thrill” of ordering anything but her standard pot roast and iced tea at Cracker Barrel. The hair on his neck stood at the sight of Mark. What is this? This is new.

Mark was gradually becoming intrigued by the sheer differences between his life and Mary Anne’s. She represented everything he was not; female, married, kids, well-formed to the cookie cutter of societal expectations. She was bizarro Mark. Although they had both resided in the same city for the past twenty-plus years, it was as if they were from two different cultures. It was as if Mark had gone to a cultural display at a local museum. Ah, so this is how your people dress and talk. This is how they cope with the monotony that life becomes. He could appreciate the neat little life she had manufactured for herself, even envy the way her life yielded to her constant supervision. Isn’t that, in some way, exactly what he was trying to accomplish, but with vastly inferior methods?

Mary Anne was pleased with how the interview was going. She was taking tedious notes, of course, and by her own lofty standards, doing a good job of asking questions that probed just deep enough below the surface to provide for interesting reading, but not so as to make the subject uncomfortable. This too was a result of her meticulous preparation. The longer he took to answer a given question, the more her sense of achievement swelled. She added row after row of perfectly aligned gold stars to an ever growing bulletin board in her head. The product of being a teacher for thirty years was that she kept stock of herself in elementary expressions. She too, like Mark, was drawn into her subject’s life. In his eyes, she saw a full-grown tiger that feasted on risk and consequence. His stories of late night revelry, loves lost, hostile crowds and local fame were fascinating and frightening at the same time. What invigoration there must be, she thought, in letting that magnificent beast run free. Little did she know, the beast was reckless, and on occasion had caused Mark great pain. Mary Anne’s own little beast was at this very moment nibbling on a meal it hadn’t tasted in some time... attraction. The threat this feeling posed to her very existence moved her to deal with it abruptly. She took the morsel from the creature, wrapped it neatly, then went immediately to a small, independent bank in the deepest recesses of her mind, discreetly purchased a small deposit box, placed the morsel in the box and threw away the key. Taking great pains not to appear distracted by this recent development, she abandoned her current, carefully woven tapestry of questioning and hurriedly, but professionally, finished the interview by asking him where his next few shows would be so she could put it in the article.

Each one went their own way after the interview. Each returned to their own well-worn rut of life. Each with a snapshot of how the other half lived. Mary Anne would spend the better part of the next week taming the creature that thrived on change and uncertainty. Was she missing something? If variety was the spice of life, was she living a salt and pepper existence? What new things could she, at age fifty-seven, possibly try?

Thankfully, Mark didn’t have a show that night. He didn’t feel like performing. He wasted the afternoon with Carlin, retelling the conversation to him, as if the dog would assuage his insecurity. He wished someone would tell him he was better off not having married, that it wasn’t worth the sacrifice of personal freedom. He heard a similar refrain from some of the bar regulars, guys who were divorced, or talked like they wished they were. In the back of his mind, though, he knew it wasn’t true. Was it too late for a selfish, near-40 has been like him to find true love? He hoped not.

The Interview, Pt II

2009-01-29T10:30:00.001-06:00

Mark was more thoughtful and reflective than most gave him credit for, due to the fact that he shared few of his musings with his friends. The extreme outgoing nature of his work caused Mark to become introverted between shows. He was pensive, bordering on obsessive, replaying his shows over in his head, looking for ways to improve the delivery or inflection of a punch line. He couldn’t help applying this same scrutiny to his social interactions. It was a curse. He was constantly second guessing every utterance, left wondering if his comments were misinterpreted. Alcohol was the only cure Mark knew for this affliction. This, however, made hung over Sundays even worse, as Mark flirted with paranoia, unsure what, if any, verbal damage he had done the prior night, or just how much of his hidden inner self he had revealed in a drunken stupor. Yes, this was Mark Doogan’s life. Most people can identify in part with Mark’s inner mental workings, but to see them spelled out in detail painted a bleak picture.

Mark sat by himself in the corner of Panera with a cup of coffee. The look on his face was one you hate to see on someone you idolize. It let you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he too was human. And tired. He was surprised, but not intimidated by the interview request. Any publicity is good publicity. Mark was sure he’d read that somewhere. Mary Anne Rogers was a member of a group of women who published a monthly neighborhood newsletter, the Oak Valley Informer. It was something this group of middle-aged, empty nesters did to convince themselves they still had worth and were contributing to the communal good. The newsletter a smattering of high school sports news, community events schedule, local legislative issues, advertisements for local businesses, weather almanac information, fishing reports, etc. It was good reading material if you were waiting in line for fast food or at the doctor’s office. It was a literary smoothie, pre-masticated for mental digestion. Of course, their near-retirement husbands indulged them. The time their wives spent writing and publishing the newsletter freed up the husbands to play golf and poker. Mary Anne was a portly woman, outgoing, gregarious. She had been a teacher for thirty years and retired with full pension at age fifty-four. Now she filled her days with the newsletter, keeping the house clean, going to lunch with her friends and volunteering at her church. In the fall, there was the coat drive. In the spring, her church sponsored a handful of local families. It was loosely based on Extreme Home Makeover. The church would go to their homes and help clean or repair anything that was needed. They also provided job-search services, financial counseling and even financial assistance. Mary Anne carefully scheduled and stretched her obligations so she always had something to do. She wasn’t quite a full-blown socialite, more like a soccer mom with no more soccer games to go to. If you spent any time with Mary Anne, it was apparent that her sense of significance was tied to the success or failure of her various endeavors. When it was brought to the attention of the board of the Informer that a real live (if only local) celebrity lived in the Oak Valley sub development, Mary Anne volunteered to interview him.

As with any event in Mary Anne’s life, interviewing Mark Doogan was a big deal. It was all she talked about in the weeks leading up to the actual date. Her son showed her some of his videos online. Mary Anne found some of Mark’s material objectionable, naturally, to her old-fashioned sensibilities. She reasoned with herself. She would tolerate the off-color humor of Mr. Doogan to bring a little cultural relevancy to the Informer. Mary Anne’s nervousness to interview Mark was outweighed by her sense of duty to the newsletter.

“Mr. Doogan, so nice to meet you,” Mary Anne extended her hand in greeting. Mark thought he detected a hint of a Midwestern accent in her voice. The way the “so” came out a little nasally. A wave of stereotypes crashed to the forefront of Mark’s mind. Midwesterners were a simple people, charming, and easily charmed. Mark didn’t stay with many girls long enough to meet the parents, but when he had, we easily won mothers over with his disarming smile. He knew how the game was played. Smile, make eye contact, show interest, help with the dishes. This interview would be a snap.

The Interview, Pt I

2009-01-26T21:40:00.002-06:00

Mark Doogan was a comedian. A pretty average one too, by all accounts. He made enough money playing the local clubs 4-5 nights a week to maintain a decent standard of living. He had even emceed a few of the local business organization’s annual get-togethers. Any comedian is only as good as his material, so Mark was constantly developing new bits, refining them throughout the week and rolling them out at the bigger shows Friday and Saturday night. He had a few bits that were always requested. Adoration is a drug, and Mark was addicted. He may tire of the material, but he never tired of the adulation of fans. He didn’t care if that adulation was brought on by a two- or three-drink minimum. He was in his late 30s now; he took what he could get.

Mark had never married. His relationship with the opposite sex as a whole was defined by a single girlfriend he had in college. Ally was too good for him, and he knew it. She was attracted to his comedic nature, naturally, and his refusal to run the social rat race like the rest of the yuppie freshman on campus. Ultimately, though, she realized his sarcasm and cynicism were an excuse for laziness and apathy. She left him, in cliché fashion, for a businessman with C-suite aspirations. It’s been fifteen years since they’ve spoken, but Mark knows she’s got two kids and lives in the rich part of town. She convinces herself she’s better off where she is, but there’s a part of her that no one sees that pines for Mark’s rough edges. Her life now is too polished, too insulated, too safe. She, like so many occupants of middle class America, laid her head on the pillow at night with no excitement about the day’s events, nor anticipation for tomorrow’s. Ally was enshrined in Mark’s past, and with every failed relationship he endured, her legacy grew. She was the bar against which all women in Mark’s life were measured, and the bar kept rising. Over time he had forgotten, or intentionally blocked out, all of Ally’s character flaws. In his mind, she was perfect. It was for this reason every relationship Mark pursued was doomed for failure. It was inevitable, at some point he would compare his current fling to Ally, and work himself into a whirlwind of discontentment. After that, it was only a matter of time.

Mark too, had little in his life to emotionally stimulate. His life was a well-worn rut of shows, booze, cigarettes, sleep, repeat. Sure, he had friends. Most of them were nine-to-five types, but there were a few bartenders, musicians and other comedians mixed in. Still, Mark had so arranged his life as to keep a large portion of it to himself. He lived by himself in a two bedroom house. His only company most nights was his retriever, Carlin, named for George, R.I.P.. Mark bought the house about ten years ago, after a big payday. Through a friend of a friend, he had gotten worked into a comedy rotation on Comedy Central. It was a six-week gig that paid him $7,200 a week. He was often approached by people in the club who had just stumbled on a clip of that show on YouTube for the first time. He feigned appreciation but secretly loathed those encounters. To Mark, they served as a cruel reminder of his own unrealized potential. Maybe he was too hard on himself. Maybe not. Thankfully, it happened less and less frequently as the years passed. Out of some sense of humility (or, more likely, not wanting to appear conceited), Mark never mentioned the big names he shared the stage with a decade ago. At the time, Mark was twenty-seven and single, trying to dodge the responsibility that came with adulthood. He blew the first paycheck and the better part of the second on, shall we say, depreciating assets. Fortunately, Mark was spouting off about something or another that he was going to buy and a veteran comedian happened to be in earshot. He took Mark aside and shared his own story. He too, had come into a significant sum of money in his younger years, and he too, like Mark, had blown it all within a week of earning it. He lamented that he had spent the better part of the next two decades trying to regain his high-rolling lifestyle. He counseled Mark to buy a house, or at least put some money in savings. To Mark’s credit, he took the advice. Now, ten years later, Mark was all grown up. He had a mortgage and a lawn mower. He cooked for himself most nights and kept his kitchen relatively clean. He shopped at the Gap and J. Crew. He was comfortable, at least that’s what he told people, but he often felt that comfortable was just a word people used to package their boring lives in a way that was socially acceptable. Mark carefully dug a small hole in a dark corner of his mind and buried these thoughts there.

Brett Dennen

2009-01-25T13:46:00.003-06:00

Last night, Veronica and I went to see Brett Dennen at The Loft. If you're not familiar with his musical stylings, go here, see specifically Ain't No Reason, Desert Sunrise & She's Mine. My thoughts going into the night, and confirmed by the performance, were that Brett Dennen is one of the most creative singer/songwriters making music right now. Not only is he able to create beautiful combinations of music and lyrics, he's an incredibly passionate and expressive performer. He's constantly making hand gestures and varying the inflection of his most-distinctive voice. If you had to put him in a genre, he'd be akin to a Jack Johnson or Ben Harper in that he's male, mostly acoustic, weaving themes of social justice throughout liad back melodies. However, physically, he is nothing like the aforemention comparables. He's 6'5", slightly overweight with a giant red bushy hair. He is the quintessential gentle giant. Brett Dennen is truly unique. Some of my favorite lyrics of his are:

you say this weakness in an empty pocket, no
and I'll tell you this weakness in an empty heart
and you say there's strength in the power to control
and I'll tell you no, there's strength in only love and compassion

~All We Have

maybe it's the wine
maybe it's the mood
baby, you don't have to read between the lines
to know that i've got makin' love on my mind
~Maybe It's the Wine

The opener for Dennen was Erin McCarley. She's a local musician who recently returned to Dallas from San Diego. You can sample her whole album here. She has a powerful voice, something I found even more impressive when I walked by her after the show and realized she was nary larger than my right leg. Seriously, she is tiny. Anyway, great music, great opener, great venue, great show.

Fun with Links

2009-01-22T09:25:00.003-06:00

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, and I've definitely noticed a general slowdown in blog-tivity lately. My theory is that this is due to the winter months just being less busy than other months, plus people are still on activity hangover from the holiday season. Anyway, this will be random, but writing is therapeutic for me, so here it is.

I've been reading Putting Amazing Back Into Grace by Michael Horton. It's a point by point outline of the major theological points of Christian, from a reformed perspective, naturally. I'm beginning to think that it's the Reformers who have spent the most time outlining what they believe from a Biblical perspective. Also, this website has a similar goal, that of educating, even Christians, on what they believe. The main premise is that only 9% of Christians have a Biblical worldview. There is a rising chorus of evangelicals that are clamoring to educate Christians as to what the Bible actually says, and that's a good thing. Our pastor as Watermark just finished a series on worldview, listen here (It's the "What in the World are you Thinking?" series).

I must say, I am impressed with Obama's first couple days in office. Check out this story. If you go to Starbucks and volunteer to do 5 hours of community service, you get a free coffee. It's about time our government started deploying some common-sense solutions. Their goal is 1,000,000 volunteer hours, which if everyone makes good on their 5-hour pledge, comes out to 200,000 volunteers. Also, his freeze on White House staff pay for those making over $100,000 shows he is serious about changing the way business is done in D.C. There's one promise I hope he doesn't make good on and that's signing the Freedom of Choice Act. This would in essence remove any and all restrictions on abortions nationally, the consequences of which would be dire. There would be no oversight on who can provide abortions, it removes parental consent, does not stipulate for mandatory sonograms, etc. [Side note: "etc." is not recommended to be used, according to the University of Oregon Grammar and Style guide because it adds no information. I'm still going to use it.]

Check out Inhale on Oxygen. It's on at 5AM (central) so TIVO it if you have to, but it's a yoga program that you can follow at home. Let me tell you (and I'm going to be very upset if I don't see some comment activity validating this point (V, Erynn, Sara)), it will wear you out! Don't believe me? Make this position...now hold it for 30 seconds...now do that over and over for 45 minutes (not sure if I get kickbacks for advertising from fotosearch.com).

Brooks is getting his grow on, but still, he's small, right. You can see pictures of him here. Veronica's now a pro at being a mom. Seriously, if there was a mom draft, she'd definitely be a top-five overall pick, maybe number one overall, depending on if the Detroit Lions need a mom this year (after going 0-16, everyone needs their mommy).

Happy 4th Anniversary!!!

2009-01-08T16:36:00.002-06:00

Today marked Veronica and I's 4th anniversary. It doesn't seem that long ago we were dating long distance, counting down the days until our wedding. The last four years have been a blast, V. I wouldn't choose anyone else to spend the last four or next fifty years with! I love you more and more every day.

Here is an extremely abridged list of my favorite times over the last four years (appx chronological):

God's miraculous provision our first two months of marriage
Waffles and Machs every morning
Late night pillow talk before either of us had real jobs
Weekends at your parent's house (cable!!!, fishing, Bagelworld, et al)
TV night at the Fairs
Weight loss challenge (Team Netzer victory!)
Trips to Boise *wink*
The Dead Squirrel Saga Pts I & II
Puppy adventures Pt 1 (Einstein) destroyed rugs, fire place, potty training
Your massive mountain-biking bruise
Tuesday wing ding night and Amazing Race
Market Street trips in McKinney (highlight of the three months spent with cat lady)
Estate-saling to furnish our house
An hour of quality time spent together each time we drove to Anna :)
J Kwon Saturday night dance party
Calvary Chapel - awesome preaching, great early 90s worship band, and one solid friendship
Trip to Seattle for Kate's wedding, seeing all family
Beer & Cheese party 2007
Ranger games with scalped tickets
You learning to graciously encourage my hare-brained schemes
Watermark - all-inclusive: Foundation group, employment, friends
Carpooling w/you
Evolution of your nickname (V, B, Beebs, Weebs, Weebicles, Weeboncles)
Puppy adventures Pt 2 (Edison) chewing, different personalities with multiple dogs, potty training
Pregnancy - it made us closer for certain
New community group
Birth of our baby! What a blessing from God!
Christmas in Idaho - this is what extended family gatherings look like now!

I LOVE YOU!!

Sociology and the Nielsens

2008-12-22T19:20:00.007-06:00

Out of curiosity, I went to the Nielsen website to see what the top-rated shows are. I was interested to see that you can see what the top-rated shows are overall, among African-Americans, and among Hispanics. So, here are the top-rated shows among all viewers:

No surprises there, right? Then I looked at the top-rated shows for African-Am

ericans. What are you expecting, Oprah? Chapelle's Show? 106 & Park? The PJs? Nope, nope, nope, nope. You should be ashamed of your narrow-minded view of African-Americans.

The top shows among blacks are practically the same as among all Americans. This reinforces something I have already observed. Very few African-Americans preserve any African culture, at least any that closely resembles current African culture. I think the time and cultural distances are too great.

Now, the Hispanics. What are you expecting, ______? I seriously can't even name a stereotypically Hispanic TV show by name. I have watched some of the programming our local Latino stations broadcast and I can say, unequivocally, that Hispanics love two things: physical comedy and cleavage. Anyway, would the Nielsen rating validate my potentially mistakenly held view regarding the television watching habits of Hispanics? You be the judge. Here are the top-rated shows among Hispanics.

The top 8 spots are all held by soap operas. The crazy thing is that these are on every night and they're still landing the top viewership spots. So maybe I was wrong about the physical comedy. Here's another thing. Having lived in two cities with a predominant Hispanic population, I have become very envious of Hispanic culture. No, I don't mean I want to start celebrating every event with a pinata, hang a picture of the virgin Mary from my rear-view mirror and start watching soap operas (apparently) every night. It's not the actual culture I'm envious of, it's that they have a very distinct set of rituals that they share together, and it reinforces the bonds of family, friendship and community.

Thanks, Andy & Whitney, for encouraging me to write this...

Lately

2008-12-08T22:35:00.004-06:00

It's been a while, and I feel like writing, so here it is. We had Veronica's parents and grandparents in town for Thanksgiving. I know that I am fortunate to have in-laws that I get along with and genuinely enjoy spending time with. We played a lot of cards.

After they left, Veronica and I split the wishbone from the turkey. This was bizarre. I don't know what the odds are of this happening, but check it. As we were pulling on the opposite sides, they both broke simultaneously, and the top piece flew off and landed on the couch right by Brooks head (see picture). For more from Read-Too-Much-Into-It Randy, we were hanging out with Brooks when he was about 3 weeks old, and we said "Say Ed" (our dogs name), and Brooks said "eh". This has been reading too much into it with Read-Too-Much-Into-It Randy.

I've been thinking about Obama lately. I think even most people who didn't vote for him hope that he does something great for our country. I just hope people's expectations aren't too high, although I'm sure most are. They way people talk, he'll have to end both wars, balance the budget, get unemployment to -4% (that's right, everyone's working and some people are working 2 jobs!), eradicate all crime and end hunger in Africa....by, say, Feb 10th or so, or there'll be trouble in paradise. I'm serious, the media will jump on any mistake he makes if they think it'll sell advertising. It's inevitable he'll make mistakes and get bogged down by the endless Washington bureaucracy.

Have you ever been listening to music and a song came on that you wouldn't normally listen to, but you're kind of focused on something else, and you start tapping your foot, then you realize, "I don't like this", and stop tapping. I call that tapcidental. The most recent occurrence of this happened at work. I listen to my iPod when I'm working, and a lot of Veronica's music is on there. Kelly Clarkson's Addicted came on and I started getting into it, then came to my senses. I have however, come to enjoy that song and many of the other selections from the same CD. Happens.

It's December, about 11 pm. It's 66 degrees and there's a thunderstorm.

Still Running

2008-11-16T09:04:00.003-06:00

There are times when living the way Christ calls us is tough, stressful, tedious, or frustrating. Sometimes doing the right thing is boring or uneventful. That's okay. I have to remind myself that spiritual diligence is seldom met with fanfare, but when I am face to face with my God, He will care that I was careful every moment of my life to love as He loved. I find encouragement from two men: Paul and Jon Foreman.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have yet taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I had no idea the pain would be this strong
I had no idea the fight would last this long
In my darkest fears the rights become the wrongs
I am still running, I am still running I am still running I am still running

Build me a home
inside your scars
Build me a home
Inside your song
Build me a home
inside your open arms
The only place I ever will belong

I am still running
I am still running
I am still running
I am still running
Build me a home
inside your scars
Build me a home
Inside your song
Build me a home
inside your open arms
The only place I ever will belong
The only place I ever will belong
inside your open arms
The only place I ever will belong

Obligatory Inanity

2008-10-17T14:37:00.004-05:00

We just passed a big milestone at work, so my manager gave me the day off. It is only 2:40, and its been a great day. Veronica and I went out to breakfast to Main Street Cafe (thanks Katie for the rec.). Their croissant's are advertised as "buttery" and that is a gross understatement. They also have some artwork for sale that I would actually purchase, if I was into that sort of thing. Anyway, we returned some stuff to Target, went to Plano Cycling and got pedals & shoes for my bike, took back movies to Kroger, and went for a bike ride (just me). So, with the exception of the baby, I feel like I've got a good idea for Veronica's life [bracing myself for all the SAHMs out there that are thinking "he's got no idea!!"]. Also, a gecko got in our house and the dogs tried to get it, unaware of said gecko's superior wall-climbing ability.

Also, as many of you know, we got a puppy a few weeks ago. Well, we thought, if some is good, more is better, so we splurged and got another pet....a baby lion.

No seriously, that is our new puppy after the groomer's got a hold of it. Veronica wasn't happy, but it's growing on her.

The Economics of Carpooling

2008-10-09T23:56:00.015-05:00

With gas prices high, more and more commuters are turning to carpooling in an effort to save some scratch. Carpooling has potential to save you some serious money over a long period of time. I had the privilege of carpooling for a season in my life, and my carpool partner, Mark, and I discussed at length the economics of carpooling. This post is the result of our discussions. Side note: I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, "I was uncool, before uncool was cool." What a great social commentary. Anyway, I carpooled when gas was $2 a gallon, and we thought that was a lot of money.

In order for carpooling to realize its full potential, several crucial factors have to align. Not the least of these is, do you like the person you're carpooling with? If you have to bear awkward conversation after awkward conversation, no amount of savings will be worth it. How far out of your way do you have to go to pick the other person up? How far does he have to go out of his way to pick you up? How long is the total commute? (This will determine overall cost savings.) Do your work schedules allow for any flexibility? Is your carpooling partner punctual. I was lucky enough to have all of these crazy carpooling stars align when I lived in Orlando. Mark and I lived on opposite sides of a loop that connected to the main road that went to work. We had nearly identical distances to work, and neither of us had to go significantly out of our way to pick the other one up. This is perhaps the most critical piece of the carpooling puzzle. Beyond that, we got along really well. Mark was a few years older than me, but we shared the same worldview, that being conservative Christian. I asked him questions about being married and having kids, and Mark, being a former pastor (do you ever really stop?) was more than happy to share his experience with me. He was also a few years further along in his career, so I picked his brain about our company too.

All right, so here's the economics. Let's say you spend $100/month on gas to commute to and from work. Speaking of the Ultimate, if you're a returning IdahoHeart reader, the Ultimate Carpooling Setup would be if the person you carpooled with was your next door neighbor, who was extremely punctual, and was available to carpool every day. By the way, it's almost imperative that you work at the same place. If you had this scenario, you would expect to save 50%, or $50 each month. That's pretty substantial. Let's even say, that you can use the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane, which shaves 5 minutes off of a 30-minute commute. For argument's sake, let's pretend you are paid hourly, although no one I know who reads this is. Anyway, if you make $40,000/year, that's approximately $20/hour. Saving 5 minutes each way, each day could potentially generate another $16 in revenue. So now you've gone from $100 to $50 to $34. You are a carpooling sensei.

Now let's take a look at a more realistic scenario, mine. The $100/month is about right. My commute sans Mark was between 25-35 minutes, depending on traffic. Picking up Mark added 2 minutes of driving on average and 1 minute on average of wait time at his house. In the name of using round numbers, we'll say this added ~7% (2/30) to my driving time and 10% (3/30) to my total commute time. This is very reasonable. Since I was not paid hourly, the time spent picking up Mark was negligible as a financial factor. Either I worked a little harder or stayed a few minutes longer. However, over the course of a year, when you consider vacations, sick days, inconsistent schedules, we averaged carpooling about 7 out of every 10 days. So the 2% increase in gas used picking Mark up is reduced by 30%. Before accounting for money saved by carpooling, I am spending $100 + ($2 * (7/10)) = $101.40/month.

Now to account for the net savings. If we were able to carpool every day, the cost savings would be 50%, but as I already mentioned, a reasonable expectation is 7 out of 10 days, so the 50% savings is reduced by 30%. My savings is then ($101.40 / 2) * 70% = $35.49. So my net gas bill is 101.40 - 35.49 = $65.91. This is a 34.09% savings over the $100 I would spend if I wasn't carpooling.

There are several factors that can impact your carpool negatively. Two of them are explored here.

Effect of the distance travelled to pick up carpooling partner:

If I had to go just 2 minutes in a direction opposite work to pick up Mark, that would result in 4 total minutes added to driving time, and would reduce your net savings to 33.18%. If you have to travel 4 minutes in a direction opposite work, the savings are 31.36%, assuming all other variables are held constant.

Effects of adding another person to the carpool:

To conceptualize this, consider the simple example. If all three people live on the same street, we can neglect the additional drive time. If every person can carpool every day, you will only have to drive 1/3 of the time. If you spent $100/month diving alone, you would spend $33.33/month carpooling with three people. This is a savings of $66.67.

In reality, you have to take into account the additional variables that are introduced by adding a third person. The additional distance travelled to pick up the third person is the most significant consideration. Whoever lives the farthest from work will most likely have the easiest route to pick up two additional passengers, but the person that lives closest to work will have to drive away from work to pick people up, thereby reducing overall realized savings. The math gets pretty complicated, as you have to try and determine exactly what percentage of commutes will include each combination of two people, and how many times all three people will actually be able to drive together. Also, with two people, the schedule of who drives is an alternating one. Whoever didn't drive last drives this time. With three people, this becomes very complicated very quickly. This is basically graph theory in practice. As the number of nodes n increases linearly, the number of total connections increases exponentially n(n-1)/2. So if 2 people want to carpool, the number of connections is 2*(2-1)/2 = 1. If three people carpool, the number of connections is 3*(3-1)/2 = 3. If you wanted to try and carpool with 4 people, the total number of connections is 4*(4-1)/2 = 6. By connections, I mean phone calls to coordinate schedules, driving to pick up carpoolers, waiting on carpoolers, managing potentially awkward conversations and personalities, etc. The point I am making is this. If you compare the two simple situations (where the carpoolers basically live next door to each other), the increased savings by adding the third person is only (50-33.33) = $16.67/month. This number only goes down as you factor in efficiency losses due to driving time, waiting time, coordination issues, etc. In the end, this becomes less worth the hassle, but a measly $17/month. If there was a point to this article, besides general education, it would be to say that in carpooling, as in many other areas of life, if some is good, more is not necessarily better.

Beyond the economics of carpooling, there can also be fringe benefits. Veronica and I were fortunate enough to work within a half-mile of each other for the last year, and we got to carpool together. This gave us an extra hour to spend together, and you can't put a dollar figure on that.

The Ultimate pts I and II

2008-09-29T22:15:00.003-05:00

I'd like to roll out a new segment I like to call "The Ultimate". Truth is, this is probably the first and last installment, as I'll forget about it and move on to something else.

Here's the deal. Whenever I meet someone who has reached a high level of skill in a certain craft or area of expertise, I'm inspired. Something about having devoted a large part of your life towards getting better and better at something is attractive to me. This came up when I was talking to my friend Michael about acting. I've done a very small amount of acting (high school drama), but hearing him talk about all the intricacies of stage fighting was pretty cool. Another thing is the I have an addictive personality, so anything I start to get into, I want to do it all the time, until the next thing... Anyway, so I've been spending a lot of time thinking about being a parent. We took our first parenting class a couple months ago, and I started to realize that parenting is tough. You've got to make millions of decisions over the course of your child's life with limited information or experience. You're the primary influence in shaping this person's life. Not only that, but you've got to be consistent. Proverbs 20:6 says "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" I think a lot of people say they love their kids, but few have the diligence to see it through for 18+ years. Hold that thought.

A bunch of my friends are having kids now, and it's pretty neat to see them with their new babies. Babies are like $10,000 lava lamps. You can just sit there and stare at them for hours. Honestly, babies could be like worms, just little lines with no appendages that wiggled around, but knowing that you took part in the creating of that life would make it unbelievably fascinating. When guys are around their other guys friends and one of them just had a kid, we all just stand around and stare at it. We're not really sure what to do, but we know it's cool. Side note: the more I learn about babies, the more of a creationist I become. Get this. When a babies' lungs are fully developed, it releases a protein called oxytosin (I think), that tells the mom to go into labor. This is incredible. Absolutely no way this protein makes the evolutionary cut. No way.

With both of those things in mind, I think babies are the Ultimate Gadget and parenting is the Ultimate Skill. In a couple of weeks, I'll have the Ultimate Gadget. I'm looking forward to developing the Ultimate Skill.

Compatibility

2008-09-29T22:09:00.003-05:00

I recently had a conversation about Christian compatibility. I've had this conversation before, but it was fun to revisit with different friends. The question is "Are any two Christians compatible with each other?" I think most people's immediate reaction is definitely not. I can think of somewhere between 300-400 Christian women off the top of my head that I would not consider myself compatible with. Now, that's reality. The heart of what that question is getting to is, "If men truly act like Christ calls them to by serving their wives completely sacrificially; and if women seek to honor their husbands completely deferentially; and if we all treat each other as Christ did, giving up all privilege and becoming the ultimate servant of all; do personality and interests and body type become less and less important?" This begs the greater question, "what would it look like if all Christians were really LIKE Christ?"

Anyway, let me know what you think

I'm sick

2008-08-31T07:45:00.002-05:00

Not unlike Matt, I am sick.... I was so excited for college football. Everyone is 0-0. The air is ripe with possibility. Expectations are high. Then, my precious alma mater, Idaho, gets beat on opening weekend 70-0!!!

I can't stomach this kind of losing. This is complete domination in every sense possible. It's not like we were playing USC. We even fared better against them last year., but Arizona??!!

This is ridiculous.

I love my family

2008-08-17T08:23:00.003-05:00

Veronica and I just got a new dog, Edison. Our other dog is named Einstein, so Edison seemed appropriate. I sent the link to this video to my family, including both my father and brother, both engineers. Their responses (links added by me) epitomizes and affirms everything that is Netzer about me.

From Dad:
Nicely done...thanks for the link, + good name choice...we were thinking
that some options might be

Plank (for Max Plank)
Bohr (for Nils Bohr)
Oppie (for oppenheimer)
Or other of Einstein's fellow physics geniuses

From Andy:
How about Avagadro? Coulomb? A. Netzer?(shameless plug) Gauss? Euler? Pasteur? Brown (brownian motion. Brown spots. Brilliant on two levels). Ok that's all the name critique you'll ever get from me.

I am my brother's brother. I am my father's son.

The National

2008-08-03T22:13:00.002-05:00

I just got done enjoying one of my favorite sources of free entertainment, attblueroom.com. They broadcast live concerts over the web, at really good speeds, too. I first found out about them a couple weeks ago when they did the Mile High Music Festival in Denver. John Mayer played a short set and closed with Panama. It was awesome. This weekend, it was Lollapalooza in Chicago. I only tuned in for The National, one of my recent music discoveries. I didn’t think this until I watched this concert, but they have definite veins of Radiohead in them. The lead singer is very much the manic-OCD character. The keyboard/guitar players are incessantly tweaking with pedals. His vocals aren’t overpowering. Think of a mix between Mark Knopffler and Les Claypool. That’s the best description I can come up with. Musically, The National is very solid, with two accomplished guitarists, and keyboard player, bassist, trombone, trumpet and drummer. The horns almost predictably come in at the bridge on most songs, but are still a welcome accompaniment. I once was watching a VH1 show on AC/DC and some music pundit was saying how their drummer was so good because he could execute a downbeat without using his crash cymbals. For some reason, that comment stuck with me and it’s been the barometer by which I measure all drummers now. By that litmus test, The National’s drummer is superb. Cymbals are but icing on his percussion cake. Slow Show was particularly impressive when he carries the verses simply with a bass drum (not the one you hit with your foot, but the biggest non-foot drum). The one issue I might make with The National is their concert presentation. Think of a concert as a meal. Some people want to finish each course, have their utensil accessories cleared and palette cleansed before the next course comes out. The other preference is to allow the courses run together. Dip you’re the shrimp from your cocktail into the alfredo from your pasta! The National is most certainly of the former group. Each song was concluded, applause given time to simmer, guitarists switched instruments, lead singer took a drink of water, then they introduced the next song. As far as a live show goes, it wasn’t very high energy for this very reason. It was very disjoint, and they didn’t carry the energy from their notorious crescendoing (sp?) outros into the next song. Personally, I enjoyed the extended time they devoted to introducing each song, carrying the drum, keyboard and guitar parts for what I imagine was at least a couple of extra measures each. All in all, a solid show.

This is kind of stupid, but I thought it was interesting. From time to time, I'll buy a bag of Starburst© and bring it in to work. I've probably done this four times now, and I think I've got a pretty stratified sample. Seeing as how I've covered all my sampling bases, I can definitively say, orange is the least popular flavor of Starburst©.

Famous People, e.g. The President

2008-07-28T21:28:00.008-05:00

Intro

Everyone has a famous person story. We’ve all been in “that” conversation where encounters with famous people come up. The inevitable one-ups-manship ensues as each person tries to out-A-list everyone else. I’ve been relegated to taking up a unique stance in this all-to-common happening. (Side Note (Side Side Note: Is it redundant to put “Side Note” or do the parentheses imply it?): In the first four sentences, I’ve hyphenated three times. Hyphenating is like the lemon zester of grammar; rarely used, but if used properly, exquisite.) My unique stance is that my only claim to fame is that I have no claim to fame. The sum total of my non-meetings is almost as incredible as one person’s actual meeting. FYI – Veronica’s famous person story is that Chris Kattan literally ran into her. She was on a tour of SNL studios and he came out of a dressing room and – BLAMMO! – famous person story! Here’s a sad commentary on how fame-crazed America is. How much better would that story be if Veronica had broken her nose or something? I’m not saying I wish she would have broken her nose. It’s just that it makes the story that much better. If you had the choice to have, say, Christian Bale (+5 relevance points) punch you in the face, would you do it? I’ll bet 6 of the 7 people who read this blog would say yes. That’s how badly we want to have a cool famous person story. This is most apparent at sporting events and concerts. Watch any sporting event, and when the camera pans the crowd, people go crazy to be on television. People are stepping on little kids, shoving old ladies aside, jumping off upper decks of ballparks, for what? To be able to say to their buddies at the office the next day, “Hey, did you see that moron who got hit in the face with the ball last night?....That was me…Yeah, I was trying to get the camera guy to notice me and so-and-so fouled it off…doctor says I’ll have 70% vision in my right eye once it heals….huh?...yeah, totally worth it.”

The Venue

Where am I going with this? I’m not a big random thought blogger type. I do have an actual story. I’m in Illinois visiting my brother and his family. They’re living with my sister-in-laws parents right now. Ralph (my brother’s father-in-law) (BTW – no points for a purely technical hyphenation), supported a local politician, Aaron Schock, by buying a table at a fundraiser he was having. It happened to coincide with our trip, so we were invited. I’m all for trying new things, so I probably would have gone, even if the President of the United States wasn’t going to be there. Oh yeah, he’s the Leader of the Free World, aka the Most Powerful Man Alive, aka the Bearer of the Torch of Freedom to all those who seek to oppress, you may know him as Dubya. Let me set the stage. It was a luncheon at this farm just outside of Peoria, Ill. We parked about a half mile away and they bussed us in. They had about thirty dump trucks parked along the street on one side and about twenty tractor trailers parked on the other side of the farm. Even on farm property, there were several semi trailers parked at seemingly random places. I’m assuming they were to shield the line of site from any would-be snipers.

The Music

Once we got off the bus, we went through metal detectors. There was a grassy area (not a knoll) where they were serving iced tea, water and kettle korn [sic]. The event was a lunch event and we had to get there early, so we had to hang out from about 9:30-11. The kettle korn made the wait much more bearable. Once we got in there, the campaign manager introduced himself and they paraded a couple miscellaneous Peoria politicians up there telling us how great Schock is. One was the former mayor of Peoria, another, the guy Schock beat in the Congressional primary. The real highlight of the pre-Bush festivities was the musical act. Lee Greenwood. Lee rose to prominence during the Gulf War, when his song “God Bless America” (“I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free…") was used to rally US support. We checked Wikipedia on my brother’s phone and the stock photo for Lee was him wearing a leather American flag jacket (FYI – at our event, he was wearing a tassled turquoise number, likely purchased at a local truck stop). He toured the Middle East during the Gulf War and helped raise troop morale. I can’t imagine how low troop morale must have been that Lee’s music raised it. He sounded like a washed out Foreigner super fan. Who knows what Lee has been doing since the Gulf War ended, but he was all too happy to recall his glory days on the USO tour. This is pretty much verbatim one of his comments; “[out of breath] As many of you know, I’ve inspired millions of people and become a role model for young people with my music…”

The Setting

Our benefactor for the event, Ralph, had earned a special privilege for buying a table at the event, as well as recruiting others to do the same. He was invited into the farmhouse to have lunch with Aaron and the President. There were about 1400 people at the event, and as far as I could tell, about 100 had either a special connection to Aaron or had paid the $4600 donation to get a picture with the President. About an hour before the President actually gave the speech, they locked down the tent we were in. There were Secret Service people everywhere. They had men on almost every roof with HUGE guns. The amount of preparation that went into this was astounding. It was really surreal to have the most powerful person on the planet in the same room. We were probably 100 feet from the stage, which given the venue was pretty good. When the time finally came, Aaron got up and, very briefly, introduced the President. I think he knew people were really there to see Bush and not him, so he got right to it.

The Speech

The ovation was thunderous for Bush. I mean, this room is full of die hard Republicans from little Peoria (and surrounding area). This is quite possibly the most significant event in most of the people present’s (this author included) life. He gave a few remarks about Aaron and Peoria, then told a few Presidential anecdotes. This is what people want to hear from the President, a little "inside info", a few stories, make us feel like we're right for believing what we believe. He recited a few of Aaron’s strong points, which he tied into a plug for McCain. Then he commenced with a speech I imagine he has given and will give many times this year. He hit the main election issues with the Republican stance. Economy, taxes, oil, the war. I felt like he relied on some emotional pleas that lacked a lot of substance ("if you care about the price of gasoline, you'll send John McCain to the White House", "if you think you know how to spend your money better than the federal government, you'll send John McCain to the White House", et al). Bush's oratorical style is very stop and go. He pauses a lot during his speeches, rarely building substantial momentum. He did however, on one point, string together several powerful statements about the war on terror. He declared very boldly something I think we all hope: that when history judges his actions as President, we will all be thankful for the tough decisions he made while in office, despite the unpopularity thereof. This was definitively the climax of his speech, and, despite verbal warnings from the Secret Service not to stand up when the President was speaking, he received a full standing ovation. This was really the perfect storm of ovations. You've got 1400 wealthy, committed, party loyal Republicans, all crammed into this tent, and the biggest possible name in Republican politics, the President, spending 40 minutes reinforcing what we claim to believe. The only thing that could have aroused a longer or more excited ovation is if he was somehow the survivor of a tragic loss or debilitating disease or injury. After the speech, he walked in front of the podium and shook hands with people. The whole event was very surreal, to see this person, who you've only ever known on television, in person. I can't really explain it, especially in light of paragraph one, since it's such a foreign experience, but I was definitely moved. To what? I'm not sure...

Dog Days of Summer

2008-07-20T21:06:00.004-05:00

We dogsat Bentley and Owen this weekend, and they're outside dogs, but it was so hot out there, we let them in....

Hibiscus Review

2008-07-12T22:03:00.004-05:00

Let me do this while it's still fresh in my mind. Veronica (read: pregnant wife) and I went to Hibiscus tonight on the recommendation from a friend. It's down off Knox-Henderson (or is it just Henderson? It's east of 75, ok?) right by Old Monk. The outside of the building is very understated (p.s. "understated" is one of my new favorite adjectives). It's sandwiched in between a couple of other restaurants in what is a very crowded part of the block to begin with. The atmosphere is great inside (I'm resisting the urge to use the word "understated" again, but it's not trying too hard, which is refreshing in this city where everywhere you turn, someone or something is begging to be noticed). It's very dark, which I prefer when dining out. It makes me feel more like we are dining by ourselves. We got there at 6 on a Saturday and beat the rush by about a half hour.

Though their Guidelive review boasted their cocktails, I was pleased to see they offered a half-way decent beer selection (Unibroue, Chimay, Full Sail, Breckenridge), but was decidedly DIS-pleased when I ordered the Unibroue (16) and they were OUT! Lame. We split the Texas bib salad ($9). It was bib lettuce, mandarin oranges, candied cashews and feta cheese with a vinaigrette dressing. Let's be honest, though, what salad doesn't have a vinaigrette dressing these days. It's like the iPhone of dressings. It would have been too sweet for me had I not opted for the fresh ground pepper. Veronica loved it. We split the T. Boone Tenderloin ($32), which was kind of small for $32, but super tender and delicious. (Man, people who review food for a living must have some sort of uber-thesaurus. I keep trying to think of synonyms for delicious, but there just aren't that many....) The tenderloin was served over some greens, topped with blue cheese and also had sliced tomato with what appeared to be either a thick balsamic vinegar or a balsamic vinegar reduction. Side story: Veronica tried to reduce some balsamic vinegar one time and either had the heat too high, left it on too long, got distracted, or some combination of the three, but in the end, we ended up with what I can only describe as balsamic jolly ranchers. Resume review. The tenderloin was awesome. I'd order it again, which is probably the best review I can give a dish. We also split the onion rings ($7) and baked mac and cheese($10). The mac and cheese is pretty famous, from what I gather, and it lived up to the hype. It comes in a baking dish, with a crust of cheddar cheese on top. The cheeses contained in the actual mac part are something along the lines of Parmesan or Romano. Veronica said she would go there just for that. When we were being seated, it did look like there was a bunch of dishes being prepared for take-out. Something to look into maybe. The onion rings were huge. I mean they were probably 17-18cm in diameter. Yeah. They are so big, I have to use the metric system. The guy brought us ketchup for them, though, which was kind of a let down. I was really hoping they would come with some kind of fancy dressing. You know like a red pepper ranch or some lime Gorgonzola avacado (insert buzz-food here) dressing. No dice. Anyway, they were good enough to stand alone, but I would probably not order them again. They're a cool novelty b/c they are so big, but pretty greasy. (I can use "b/c" if I want, this is blogging, APA has no jurisdiction here)

Overall, the meal was above average, I would say very good. The service was decent. Our main waiter was pretty slow coming to our table, but everyone else was there pretty frequently. Our water glasses never got below probably 62% full. I would recommend Hibiscus, but I will probably not go again only because there are so many other great restaurants in Dallas that I haven't been to yet.

Food: A-
Service: B
Atmosphere: A
Overall: A-

Logophile

2008-06-09T16:26:00.004-05:00

I confess it. I'm a logophile. I love words. Some of my favorites are tutelage, bombast, ingratiate, substantiate, phalanges, phlegm, avarice, apparatus and precipice. I could go on... Say them with me. Feel how they roll off the tongue. It's exhilarating, isn't it? I love learning new words. Not in the way the spelling bee freaks do, going for the extreme but never used words, but taking pleasure in finding the perfect word for the situation. So I'm taking this to a new level by making up my own words. Enjoy.

Word 1, wakeout. There are two varieties of the wakeout; the evening and the morning. The evening wakeout is when you stay up later than your wife and then sneak in after she falls asleep and start making out with her. She will, predictably, go through the following sequence of emotions: surprise, frustration, acquiescence, engagement, enjoyment, sleep. It is advisable to brush your teeth before performing an evening workout. The latter variety, the morning wakeout must be performed with a certain degree of tact. The morning wakeout is exactly what is sounds like. You don't even have to get out of bed, just wake up and start mackin'. The obvious objection to the morning wakeout is the dreaded "morning breath". I have found that morning breath transitions to the much less objectionable makeout breath (you know what I'm talking about) in about 20-30 seconds. If you can muster through that period, your reward will be a day started the proper way.

Word 2, misface. This strictly modern phenomenon is when someone, probably a friend of a friend, adds you as a friend on Facebook, and of course, you accept. I mean, come on, we spend our whole lives trying to make friends, and you're going to turn down a unsolicited friend request. Please. You accept, you always do. Okay, now that we're on the same page, on to the definition. As nearly everyone reading this with the exception of my parents knows, Facebook randomly pulls a handful of your friends and displays them on your profile page every time you login. A misface is when you see a person on your profile who you don't know (or don't think you know). There are several degrees of misfacing. The mild misface is when you click on the person's page and you instantly recognize the person. Crisis averted. The extreme case is when you've gone through that person's entire online photo gallery, all of their friends' galleries, all of their friends' friends' galleries...and you STILL don't know who it is. This is the equivalent of losing your wallet for anywhere from 20 minutes to a week. The difference is the associated level of panic.

I'm giving each of these words 3 weeks until they are common usage.

The Funniest Video Ever.

2008-05-08T19:36:00.000-05:00

Mudbug Fest

2008-05-04T18:56:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday, I took advantage of Veronica (who is pregnant, btw) being out of town and went to a crawfish boil. She finds the peeling and eating of the boiled crustacean pretty gross, but let's face it, they're called mudbugs for a reason, and they are delicious, especially dipped in a little Louisiana hot sauce. I heard about it through my friend Donnie, lead singer of Texas hit sensation Southern Drive, who was playing an acoustic set at the show. It turned out to be a really fun event. The couple that owns the house sponsors the whole thing. They host it at their house, buy all the food, and they have a donation box that proceeds the Collin County Children's Advocacy Center. They had a bounce house for kids. The whole thing is a really cool example of local community activism for a good cause. What better way to spend a Saturday than sitting outside, eating some mudbugs, listening to some good music with friends and helping a good cause? Answer: no better way exists, trick question.

Over/Under on the # of crawfish I ate on Saturday: 3,482,507,427

Conspiracy Theory #1

2008-04-15T20:13:00.002-05:00

All right, all right, check it out. For the past few years, we've been hearing about how when all the baby boomers retire, it's going to put this huge strain on the economy, and Social Security is going to be bankrupt by 2050, etc, etc. Not to mention, corporations are trying to find ways to retain older managers, or get them to transfer their knowledge to younger workers. Well, as a result of the "sub-prime mortgage crisis"(spmc), now a lot of people are having to put off retirement because a) they took money from their retirement to pay their mortgage, b) they quit putting as much money into their retirement because they were strapped financially, or c) their retirement fund tanked with the stock market and they can't afford to shift to a fixed income stream. So what does this mean? I think Alan Greenspan (former chair of the Federal Reserve Board, and the one person perhaps most responsible for lowering interest rates from 2001-2005, and indirectly causing the "spmc") was in cohoots with big business and the government during these years. He engineered the greatest pulling of the wool over the eyes of America in history (and America does not like the wool being pulled over it's eyes). Job well done, AG, enjoy your nauseatingly high-paying corporate speaking engagements in retirement.

Think about it. You'll get it.

Simplicity - it's simple!

2008-04-14T07:57:00.003-05:00

I've been reading Freedom of Simplicity (Richard Foster) and the text served as a most excellent accompaniment to one of Todd's recent sermons. Todd has been preaching on the "Longer Reach of Freedom", his follow-up to the "Long Arm of the Law", a study of Galatians. Galatians 5:1 says "It for freedom that you have been set free." This verse has always given me trouble. It seems like the logical Property of Identity, A = A. It has no immediate application. In Freedom..., Foster explains at length just what does it mean to be "free". Here is an excerpt from the book (pp 71-73):
"Detachment frees us from the control of others. No longer can we be manipulated by people who hold our livelihood in their hands. Things do not entice our imaginations, people do not dominate our destinies."
Contrarily, "Silence frees us from the need to control others. One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are accustomed to relying on words to manage and control others. A frantic stream of words flows from us in an attempt to straighten others out. We want so desperately for them to agree with us, to see things our way. We evaluate people, judge people, condemn people. We devour people with our words. Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit because it puts the stopper on this."
Lastly, "Prayer frees us to be controlled by God. To pray is to change. There is no greater liberating force in the Christian life than prayer. To enter the gaze of the Holy Spirit is never to be the same."

Detachment. Silence. Prayer. Spiritual disciplines that lead to true freedom.

Takin' in back....way back

2008-04-08T22:40:00.002-05:00

Raise your hand if you love Carman and/or you grew up in a small church where this type of skit would be shown:

Mark of the Least

2008-03-21T09:49:00.003-05:00

The Mark of the Least is not flashy or eye-catching. It is not prestigious or glamorous. It is not there to draw attention to the bearer, but only to point to one greater. It doesn't enable the bearer to buy and sell goods, but to redeem men's lives. The Mark of the Least is not a status symbol or fashion statement. It is proof that the bearer is everything he claims to be. It is a receipt for services rendered. It is, as it's superlative name would imply, only born by one man, for only one has ever been worthy. It's him who we celebrate this day, and at who's name one day, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW AND EVERY TONGUE CONFESS, THAT HE IS LORD!!!!

Making the Old Testament relevant

2008-03-17T09:14:00.002-05:00

www.isaacbros.com

Yes! Finally, I can have Elisha nod approvingly as I read my Bible.

Review: Abacus

2008-03-16T23:26:00.002-05:00

Abacus

I know, I know, you've all been waiting for it, the Abacus review. The week before Valentine's Day, Veronica and I got it in our heads to try one of the best restaurants in Dallas. It's widely recognized as one of the top places in the city (see Guidelive Top 100). Our expectations were set unrealistically high, and they were pretty much fulfilled. We started with the buffalo shiitake pot stickers with a spicy sauce. The real flavor of the buffalo and mushroom was obscured by the fried dough of the pot sticker. What little of the meat/'shroom flavor that did come through was delicious, but I would not order this again. Anytime I'm going to drop two Benjamins for a dinner, I'd better be speechless at the fare they bring out. "Good, but not great" doesn't cut it for a $17 appetizer. However, the Kobe beef plate thing was worth every penny. I am just now coming into some knowledge of Kobe beef. It is, according to my local butcher, Roy, the best meat on the planet. If you don't know what I'm talking about, apparently they raise these cows over in Japan and they give them beer and suspend them in what I can only imagine is some type of large hammock so they don't even have to use their legs. I believe the scientific name is bovine dollar billus, since it makes restaurants money in two ways. For starters, this stuff is so good, they can charge like $1000 a bite for it (well, not $1000, but it's 'spensive and (worthy of a double parenthetical) worth it). Secondly, they don't even have to cook it, so you know, savings on energy costs and stuff. (FYI, Abacus does not appear interested in passing this savings on to the consumer.) This beef of the gods is served sliced very thin, almost like pepperoni, with a lime vinaigrette and these little fruit looking things that I avoided at first, but tried later that were awesome. I'm still not sure what I ate, but I think it was a genetically modified tomato and lime that were about a tenth the size of a normal fruit, but with a very fresh and not-at-all unripe flavor to them. The full, fatty taste of the beef pairs nicely with the light lime vinaigrette. I would order this again.

I am a sucker for a dry aged steak. The hands-down best steak I've ever had was at Cite (accent mark over the e) Grill in New York City at a business dinner, and ever since then, I've been trying to recapture the glory that was that dinner. Abacus' dry-aged bone-in prime ribeye is a close second to The Steak. Very tender and beefy, cooked medium rare, with a ground mustard, burneise-type sauce. My choice of side was the black truffle risotto. I've heard stories about black truffles, but I didn't believe them. They couldn't possibly live up to the Food Network-induced hype surrounding them. They did. I am a black truffle fan. They have this very complex nutty, mushroomy, smooth taste to them that permeates the entire dish. (side note: you can get white truffle butter at Hirsch's meats in Plano. It is an acceptable substitute, though not cheap.)

Veronica had the buffalo tenderloin with asparagus and black truffle mashed potatoes. This was, IMHO (obligatory blog-speak), the brass ring of the Abacus menu, all things considered. Let me build up to the pinnacle. The asparagus were nothing special, but delicious nonetheless. The mashed potatoes were even better than the risotto. The waiter conspicuously did not bring Veronica a steak knife before the meal was served, which we both took note of and remarked that this dish must put the "tender" in tenderloin, sincerely. Our suspicions were confirmed when it arrived, dark red and fork-tender. All-in-all, a magnificent dish I will certainly order if I have the fortune of finding myself at this restaurant again.

One other thing I will order if I go back is the Lobster sake shooters. Our waiter recommended them, and we declined since Veronica isn't a big seafood fan and neither one of us was sure if liked sake, having never tried it. Anywho, we were sitting right by the little station where all the servers come and pick their food before they take it to the table and we must have seen 30 of these things go out while were there. You know what they say, 30 people can't be wrong, right? Agreed.

Lastly, we ordered the exquisite sounding Chocolate soup. This was a bit of a letdown. Picture a bowl with some chocolate-syrup in the bottom, a brownie sitting in that with a scoop of peanut butter ice cream on top of that. Sound pretty god, right? Well on top of that is a graham wafer with three dollops of marshmallow and two more waferish sticks. The marshmallow appeared as though it had been made some time ago and was a little tough. The wafers didn't complement the dish as well as they could have. I do not recommend this dish.

If you are interested, they have a very extensive port and cognac section. They have Johnny Walker black label ($12), blue label ($35) and green label (credit check required).

Food A-
Atmosphere B (way yuppy)
Overall A

Review: Coal Vines

2008-03-16T23:20:00.004-05:00

Coal Vines

Went to Coal Vines the other night with some friends. I don't know what I was expecting... that's a lie, I was expecting some freakin' awesome pizza! I still have a bit of small-town upbringing wonder towards downtown (or techincally Uptown, I'm not really sure, in fact I don't know if there is an actual definition, it's like a recession, some people think we're in one, some don't) Dallas. I just assume everything there is great. That is the faith I have in the Democratic system. I figure, if a restaurant is terrible, it'll go out of business. So, I am thinking this place has got to have some sweet 'za, right? Wrong. First of all, this place is right next to the Crescent Hotel I think (if anyone read this, I'd get some type of corrective e-mail, but no one does, so this statement will remain as e-libel indefinitely, definitely unlitigated). So there's like 4 parking places, and you're forced to valet. No big deal, I feel like a baller when I valet, so fuggedaboutit, right (I wasn't driving anyway). They're trying really hard to be this hip wine-bar hangout for young professionals, and they've succeeded to some extent, in that the place was full of young (and not-so-young) professionals. They've got an extensive wine list, but limited beer offering. Anyone who knows me knows I'll take a cold beer over a nice glass of wine any day. I keep hearing that beer is the new wine, etc etc, and that restaurants are going to start carrying more variety of higher end beers, but my experience tells me otherwise, and that most restaurants think that Stella is a "high-end" beer. Also, they think they can charge $5.50 for one because they are downtown/uptown. If a restaurant doesn't list prices on their menu, there's got to be some sort of unspoken code among restaurateurs about these things. I'm thinking like a Rule of Four, as in, you can't charge someone more than four times what they would pay for a beer in the grocery store. Maybe even a Rule of Three. I guess restaurant owners know people will pay it, so they're gonna charge it, but I digress.... Anyway, we got the calamari to start. As calamari goes, it's hard to really screw it up. This offering was about an 8 of 10 on the c-scale (calamari scale), which is good in my book, but I can't get too worked up about calamari. We also tried the baby spinach salad, which was very good. It had goat cheese and candied walnuts, pretty much the new standard for a spinach salad these days, but done very well. Again, if you've got the right ingredients, it's hard to screw this up.

For the main course (in case your wondering, this is a fairly arbitrary paragraph break), we got the white special pizza and added chicken. I was a little surprised the white pizza didn't include chicken to begin with. The pizza was good, but not great. It had a thin crust, which is amoral in the world of pizza to me. I'm not a die-hard deep dish or thin crust guy. If you got an appetizer and/or a salad, a large pizza is enough to feed four people. In fact, a small pizza would have probably been enough, since we took some home.

All in all, the food was decent, but not good enough to lure a Plano-ite like me back to downtown/uptown. The atmosphere was a bit pretentious (coincidentally, using the word pretentious is kind of an oxymoron, since I think only pretentious people use it, usually in a pretentious manner, but somehow my acknowledgment of this makes it less pretentious). Anyway, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I just want good food.

Atmposphere: B+/C-, depends on who you're trying to impress

Food: B+

Service: B

Portion: A, it always feels good if you drop $40 on a meal when you get to have lunch the next day too.

Review: Boots and Brix

2008-03-16T23:16:00.002-05:00

Boots & Brix (in the Richardson Hotel)

Veronica and I recently purchased the Entertainment Guidebook for Dallas, which has coupons for various local eateries. So we decided to "spring" for a nice dinner at Boots & Brix (I'm still not sure if it's pronounced 'Brie' or 'Bricks'). Let me back up. We initially decided on Avacado California Sushi, but we drove by it, and there was one guy in there....at 8:00....on a Saturday night. That's always a big red flag for us, so we continued on to Boots & Brix. Apparently, they don't advertise or market very well (if you hadn't noticed, the link above is the first thing that returns on a Google search), because we called the directory service we have through our credit card, and they couldn't find it. Suspicious. Anyway, we walk in, and there's no one in there (see previous statement about vacant diners), but we weren't about to go to option #3. After walking around a little, we found the bar/eating area, which was staffed by one person, trying to serve about a dozen people. It took her about a half hour to take our order, and another 45 minutes to bring our food out. The food was a little overpriced. The drinks certainly were ($4.50 Shiner?!). I feel like they're trying to create/maintain that Dallas steakhouse/upscale feel. Needless to say, they are not succeeding. The food was a little overpriced, which I'm willing to pay, as long as the feeling of superiority that comes with eating at a nice restaurant is included, which it was not. The food was actually pretty decent. I got the fish tacos, Veronica had the Reuben. The worst part about this whole experience is that by the end of the meal, we were so desperate to get out of there, we just walked up to the bar to pay. Here's why: she runs our credit card, and then just hand us the receipt. Under normal circumstances, I would have left a below average tip. I know what you're thinking, but I don't feel bad about this. If your service suffers because you're taking on too many tables, you'll get less tips, but there'll be more of them, so it should even out. Anyway, my intent was to leave a lowball tip and get out of there, but I'm too big of a wuss to do this to someone's face, so I left an average tip and left, lamenting both my own lack of courage and the extra $$ it cost me.

Service: F
Food: C, if it wasn't late and room temp, it might crack into B-range
Atmosphere: C-
Portions: C, you're not taking anything home, unless, of course, in the four or five millenia it took for your food to come out, you gnawed off your arm and ate it.

Review: Banana Leaf

2008-03-16T23:14:00.001-05:00

First things first, here's the link: www.thaibananaleaf.com

The maitre'd (sp?) was very engaging, but not overbearing. He's an asian guy with a southern accent, he calls himself the Cajun Asian. Real nice guy. I've been kind of afraid of Thai food since I was about 12 and I went to Mad Mary's with my parents in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho. It was this crazy Thai restaurant that was smoky and the food was too spicy (this was before I came of age in relation to spicy foods). I hadn't really tried legitimate Thai food until I went to Banana Leaf last fall. It was really good. I had the seafood with noodles. The scallops were the size of half-dollars, the calamari was a long as my finger. I could have taken home leftovers, but it was really good....so I ate it all. The portions are generous, prices about $10-12/plate if I remember correctly. The decor is so-so; the restaurant doesn't feel like a chic place to be, even though the food and service are up to snuff.

Service: A

Food: A-

Atmosphere: B-

Portion: A, you can take some home if you like, but the portions are sized just right to tempt you to eat the whole thing.

Review: Falafel and More (might be Falafel Cafe, need to check the sign)

2008-03-16T23:12:00.002-05:00

I am so NOT surprised this place doesn't have a website. Veronica and I decided to try this little cafe in our neighborhood the other night. It's this little Greek/Isreali place, I think. Anyway, the guy who is working there doesn't speak English too well, so I point to what I want on the menu, he ends up bringing me not what I ordered, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I tried to order this chicken and beef platter, and I ended up getting a combo of fried cauliflower, eggplant and falafel. The falafel was pretty good, the eggplant was weird texture, and cauliflower just shouldn't be fried without breading. Let me back up to the beginning. We got salads (I use the term loosely). Veronica's had a piece of tomato on top that was covered in black mold. I wish I had a picture to post, this thing was disgusting. She didn't even try and eat around it. I had a couple tentative bites of my mold-free salad, and I realized that the dressing was vinegar, not vinegarette, vinegar. We also had ordered feta cheese pies, sounds good, right? Wrong. They seemed like the kind you would buy at Costco, frozen in a bag and microwave (toaster oven if you are savvy, which this restauranteur was not) that had not been microwaved long enough. They were cold on the bottom and kind of damp. So before our main course came out, the man brings out some pita bread. I don't know about you, but when I think of good pita bread, I think of warm pillowy folds of dough, not cracked unleven-like sheets, which is what we got. By the time our "dinner" came, it was stiff as a board, and about as edible too. Veronica's meal came out, shwarma (sp?), which, by the Mike Netzer eyeball definition is some seasoned chopped chicken on top of french fries. I don't know if you pay attention when you shop for meat at the grocery store, but I don't think you can buy anything less than Grade A meat in the store. Nice restaurants usually advertise Prime or something. Well the chicken that was scattered on top of Veronica's fries had to have been somewhere in the Grade Q-FF range, this stuff was all tendon. You know, the first time she reads this, she'll probably have a flashback gag. Anyway, it did make me happy that I didn't end up with the meat plate, since my veggie platter, though somewhat odd in flavor, was edible. SO, we ring up, and the meal is like $24, it was ridiculous. Needless to say, I will not be returning.

Service: F
Food: F--
Atmosphere: D- (only for one cool piece of art)
Portion Size: Irrelevant since the food was so terrible, you couldn't eat more than one bite

Diligence

2008-03-16T23:08:00.000-05:00

Original Post Date: 4/13/07

A couple of weeks ago, this guy talked at church about diligence, and how when we see someone who is very accomlished or talented, we tend to think, "Wow, that is so amazing how gifted that person is!" Well, that's dismissive to imply that the person hasn't worked really hard at becoming great by calling it a gift. So there's this guy I work with that just seems to get it, he's good at everything he does, and my natural tendency is to think, "Man, it'd sure be nice to be him, everything comes easy," but I've been training myself to think, "Man, what diligence!" One of my favorites quotes from Albert Einstein (okay, it's the only quote I know) is "Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% pespiration." I get "inspired" a lot (e.g. "I want to get in better shape" or "I want to read more"), but I don't perspire nearly enough, literally or figuratively.

Joy replacement vs. joy abandonment

2008-03-16T22:57:00.001-05:00

Original Post Date: 4/30/07

There are a lot of things that make me happy; my wife, food, friends, Einstein, etc. I think that I find joy/worth in a lot of things of the world, and I know that this is not what God wants, so I try to not find joy in those things. Or at least to have them not be my primary source of joy, but rather be joyful in the Lord. So what ends up happening, is if I had was netting 20 joy units, and 18 were from wordly things, and 2 were from godly things, and I reduce the amount of joy I take in the world to 5, without increasing my joy in godly things, I'm down to 7 net joy units, and that is less than 20. So I find myself, not necessarily sad or depressed, but lacking joy, especially in godly things. God has given us so many things to be joyful about! Let's all resolve to celebrate Him more today!

Oh, Church of Satan, you've done it again!

2008-03-16T22:55:00.001-05:00

Original Post Date: 6/11/07

I was curious about just what it is that the church of satan stands for. Pretty much they are a bunch of outsiders that have been making stuff up for 40 years. They are really not an accurate representation of Satan, but anyways. I came across this website, and it killed me. Imagine these rules being read by Dwight from The Office.

12/17/07 - New view of Jesus (not heretical, I promise)

2008-03-16T22:47:00.000-05:00

Original Post Date: 12/17/07

We were at church on Sunday, and I felt something I've never felt, at least towards Christ. Endearment. You know how everyone has a famous (or semi-famous friend) that they feel the need to establish their connection to that person every time he/she is brought up. It's like they have to prove that they knew that person before they were famous, and in order to accomplish this they will do one of two things: 1. The casual approach: make an offhand comment about how so-and-so "didn't use to wear his collar popped", hoping some unsuspecting victim will ask them how they know that, then they can unload their full arsenal of pre-famous stories; 2. The slightly more blatant approach is to lean in to whomever happens to be unfortunate enough to be sitting next to them when this "celebrity" is shown on TV, and say, "you know, I was in so-and-so's second grade class..." with a smug grin their face, and just wait for the commentee to show an inkling of appreciation. Where am I going with all this? Well, there's no more famous person than Christ, and no one has more humble beginnings than He. I feel like when people bring Him up, I can be like "I know Him!", and "Let me tell you this story, Jesus was just a little kid and he was hanging with some dudes in the temple, and then his parents were like 'Jesus, where you been' and he was like 'where you think I been at? in my dad's house' oh man, it was the coolest cuz they had no idea he was like the savior of the world and stuff." That's the kind of relationship I want to have with Jesus. Like, if Jesus was on tour or something, and I hadn't seen Him in a while, and it was crazy backstage, but I'd still feel like I was the only person He'd thought about since the last time we talked. I bet that's what Heaven's like.

Getting started....

2008-03-16T22:23:00.001-05:00

This blog is replacing my former site, mikenetzer.googlepages.com for many reasons, mostly the fact that blogspot is more compatible when it comes to interfacing with others. I'll create links or copy some of that old stuff over for reference.

Here's a little background. Idahoheart is because I was raised in North Idaho, and though I moved to Florida, and subsequently Texas, in the last 4 years, a piece of my heart remains there. The geography and the demography are something to behold. In the summer, the mountains are hike-able, the lakes swimmable, the nights, perfect. In the winter, going to bed when the ground is cold and brown and waking up with it pure white with a foot snow is an experience everyone should have. Like the apostle Paul, "I have learned to be content in any situation," but the flat horizons of our current locale, the unbearably hot summers, and soul-sapping, snowless winters of Dallas leave something to be desired. I can't say too much about the people in little Hayden, ID without sounding like a complete sap with no perspective, but I think as a city, they're pretty well balanced. 'Nuff said.